The Lipstick Chronicles
by MerryMistresses
Summary: Stephanie has a new shade of lipstick and it has disastrous effects for some of the Merry Men. A series consisting of several Merry Men one-shots that never seem to end well for the guys.
1. A Lester Halloween Ch 1

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment._

_A/N: This is a short fic to be posted one chapter a day leading up to Halloween._

_**WARNING: Lester has a very dirty mind. Major smut contained within! Please don't be too upset with him, he just can't help those naughty thoughts.**_

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**Monday, October 26****th**

I walked into the break room to fill my cup with coffee before I had to be in the conference room for the meeting on Edward Marcum. Marcum was a high bond FTA we were trying to secure before the time limit ran out, which was in two days. The case was one of those we Rangemen were passionate about. We were always passionate about stopping assholes from harming innocents. This scumbag was in the business of kidnapping children, mainly babies, to sell on the black market. He was going down no matter what, but we were all itching for an extreme circumstance where excessive use of force or even our guns may be needed. There's nothing more satisfying than sending a fucker like that to his grave.

I got to the conference room and into my seat with seconds to spare. I looked around at the usual team of players: Tank, Hal, Bobby, Ram, Hector, Cal and Ranger. Hmm, Beautiful hadn't arrived, yet, but this wasn't new. She always breezed in a couple of minutes late. Ranger didn't even bother to try to get her to arrive on time anymore. That guy was so whipped, she could show up thirty minutes late and he wouldn't bat an eye at her. Not that I blamed him. Stephanie Plum was worth being whipped over. I'd give my left nut, well, maybe my right because I'm fond of my left one, to have a go at her delectable little body.

Ranger cast a glance at the door, as if he expected it to open any second, then stood and began to speak, "Men, as you know, we have less than forty-eight hours to apprehend Marcum. We have reliable intelligence that he will be at the Adoption Conference in Brooklyn. He has heavy dealings with some shady people who accept his illegally obtained 'little goldmines', as he calls them." All of us around the table grumbled in disgust at this.

Ranger continued with a wave of his hand for silence. "As you know, Stephanie and I will be…" He didn't continue because the door opened at that moment and in walked Stephanie wearing a pair of low rise tight black jeans and a form-fitting black Rangeman t-shirt with a low v-neck. Her wild brown hair was down around her shoulders in big, loose curls and her bright blue eyes were fringed with black lashes coated to danger level in black mascara. Every man in the room stared at her in speechless wonder. Hell, I grew hard the moment I saw _them_. If there was ever a time I wanted to bend her over the table…

It was her lips. They were coated in a deep red lipstick that clearly shouted 'You want me!' and I knew that not one man in the room was immune to their message. Even Hector's mouth had gone slightly ajar. Those same lips spread in a sweet smile and she looked around the room at each of us, meeting our eyes. "Sorry, guys." Her voice was breathy and sexy as hell. Shit, I'm a goner. "Did I miss anything important?"

"Babe." Ranger husked out in a tight voice. He cleared his throat and indicated to the chair on his left. "Come have a seat, we were just getting started."

"Just getting started, eh?" She smiled slowly and swung her hips when she rounded the table to take her seat. She tested her coffee and, finding it too hot, she set it on the table and picked up the bottle of water that had been placed there, probably by Ranger, and opened it to take a swig. _Somehow_, she missed her mouth and the water spilled down over her chest, wetting the skin and molding the cotton fabric against her breasts. The cold water enticed her nipples to come out to play and every single one of us groaned collectively at the sight.

"Crap!" She said, trying to mop up the water with the little napkin square her water bottle had been resting on. It wasn't effective and was soon just as soaked as the rest of her. "Sorry!" She tried to sound apologetic, but her blue eyes were twinkling with mischief.

Once again, Ranger spoke to her in that strained tone, "Babe, go ahead on up to seven and change. I'll fill you in later."

"Only if you're sure?" She turned innocent eyes to him and placed a slender hand on his forearm. I watched his skin twitch on contact. _Hell yeah, man. _I'd be in the same boat. Fuck, I didn't think I would even have had the presence of mind to clear the room. I might have just slammed her up against the wall and had my merry way with her.

"Please, go, Babe."

"Okay. I'll see you in a little while." She sashayed out of the room and each of our heads turned to watch while her hypnotic hips swung past until she had left the room.

"If you're all done staring at my woman, let's get back to business." Ranger's tone was clipped and at full strength again. We all snapped our attention to him.

Tank was smirking at Ranger. "You know she only did that to get out of this meeting."

Ranger ignored him and stared down each and every one of us in the room. We got the message and put on our 'attentive' looks.

I tried to focus on the mission details, but all I could think about was that red lipstick. Halloween was on Saturday and running through my mind were the various ways Miss Stephanie Plum could wear that red lipstick and dress up for what we all knew to be her favorite holiday.

My mind refused to focus on the meeting, instead my thoughts centered on Stephanie in a tiny French Maid's costume, with sheer black thigh high seamed stockings with little satin bows at the top, and five inch spike heels on her little feet. I could just see how her pert breasts would be pushed up in the lace-up corset of the bodice so that she had ample cleavage. Her hair would be gathered up into a loose bun with a lace maid's cap on her head, a feather duster in her hand for naughty tickling and that red lipstick.

Groaning inwardly, I lost myself in the fantasy of Naughty Maid Stephanie…

"_Lester," Stephanie said, walking toward me seductively and speaking with a higher pitched sultry French accent. "You've been a very, very dirty boy. I'm going to have to clean. you. up." Her fingers walked pointedly up my chest as she said the last three words and she gave me a small giggle before coming in close to me until her body was practically pressed against mine._

_She looked me over and frowned at the dust covering me from head to toe that my clothes had gathered on the stakeout I had been on. She took her feather duster and flicked it over my shoulders, arms and then my chest. "Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear." She pursed her lips in disapproval, speaking the words rapidly just like you would imagine a sexy little maid would say when she saw a mess she had to clean up. "Oh, yes, I'm going to have to take care of your little…problem." Her voice was husky and her gaze was coy._

_My throat grew dry as she began to strip my clothing off me, piece by piece. First, she slipped my jacket off and deposited it unceremoniously into a heap on the floor. She tutted at the cloud of dust that plumed up from the nylon offense. "What _have_ you been doing, Lester?" She said my name slowly, as if she was stroking it with her lips and tongue. Fuck, she was seductive as hell. _

"_Warehouse." I croaked out. "Sawdust."_

_She clucked her tongue at me and tugged my polo out of the waistband of my cargos. I was immediately hard and ready, but there was no way I was going to miss a second of what naughty Steph had planned. Her hands went to the snap on my cargos and I felt myself grow even harder. "Well, we need to get you out of these filthy, filthy clothes, yes?"_

_I nodded. Hell, yes, we needed to get me out of these filthy, filthy clothes._

_She grabbed the hem of my polo and whipped the shirt up over my head so fast that it took my breath away. As I sucked in some air, my cargos fell to my knees. I stood in front of her in my boots, cargos halfway down, cock at full mast, and my black turtleneck gently lying on top of it. "Oh yes, you are dirty. A dirty, naughty boy who needs to be punished for going commando, oui?" With that, she flipped her feather duster over and I saw that the end of it was a riding crop. Before I could react, she smacked me across the ass with it and I yelped out in pleasureful pain. "Hmm? Did my dirty, naughty boy like his punishment?"_

_I merely groaned in response, I was so hard I felt like my cock had turned to granite. It was sweet torture to stand before her. In desperation, I reached out to tug on her waist and she reacted by taking a quick step back and smacking my hand with the crop. "No! You touch, I will leave. Do you want me to leave?"_

"_No!"_

"_Good. Sit down on the stool behind you." I complied and she knelt before me to slowly, teasingly unlace my Bates boots; first the left and then the right. She made sure to lean low so I had a full view of her straining breasts. I felt the beginnings of drool form in the corner of my mouth and my lips twitched to just feel the creamy satin skin of her breasts against them, but I knew she would leave if I touched her, so I held myself back._

_Once the boots were completely unlaced, she slipped them off my feet and then rolled my socks down. Without the barrier of my boots, she was able to slide my cargos off my legs and dropped them on top of my other clothes. "Stand up," she commanded. I did as she said and stood so that my hard, throbbing cock was right in front of her face. I could have cum right there when her blue eyes stroked up and down my hard length, getting to know the sight of me intimately._

"_Why, Lester. You are so naughty to be so obviously trying to reach out and touch me with your…limb. Perhaps I should punish him, no?" Her eyes held a wicked gleam and I immediately lost my ability to speak._

_I rasped out the word 'no' on a harsh whisper and watched as her pink tongue snuck out to slick across the full, red objects of my obsession. She locked eyes with mine and pursed her lips seductively and then leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the tip of my cock. This, of course, brought my vocal strength back and I was able to growl out a yell of frustration, "Shit!"_

_Smiling, she stood and flipped her weapon over again, so that she was brushing the tickling feathers over my heated skin. She skittered them across my shoulders and around back over my shoulder blades and I closed my eyes at the surge of pleasure that coursed through my body. I felt the swish down my spine and over my tailbone to caress each of my buttocks. She swiped it around to the front, tantalizing the entire length of my full erection with teasing strokes, barely touching the skin with the tips of the soft feathers._

_I hissed in my breath through my teeth at the touch of the wispy sensations tickling me. "God, I need to fuck you!" I couldn't stop the shout coming from my mouth._

"_Tut, tut, Lester. When will you learn?" I popped my eyes open too late and felt the stinging bite of the crop as it smacked across my other cheek. "Are you going to be good, or will I need to punish you more?"_

_I was at a loss for words. On one hand, I wanted to see where she would take this, but I was also interested in the type of punishment she liked to hand out. The need to move forward won and I shook my head no._

_She walked around me a few times, swinging her hips, head held high, and smacking the crop in her hand, stopping to stand directly in front of me. With a slow smile, she clipped the crop onto a loop on her skirt and reached up to untie her corset, pulling the laces out of the eyelets and exposing the skin of her abdomen inch by glorious inch._

_When the last lace came out, she dropped the corset so she was standing before me in only a white half peasant top that covered her breasts and arms only and her little black maid's skirt with the white lace flounce underneath. She turned to walk around me again and I sucked in my breath and moaned out, "Madre de Dios!"_

_Up along each side of her body from bust line to hip was a corset piercing which consisted of eight rows of two rings pierced through her flesh, side by side. Through the rings was a black satin ribbon corseted through the loops and tied at the bottom._

_She cocked her head to the side and sent me an amused grin. "You like my piercings?"_

_I could only nod. I'd lost my voice again._

"_Please come with me," she said in a sing-song French accent. I followed her like an obedient puppy. Had I said Ranger was whipped? He had nothing on me. I was a slave._

_I followed her into the next room which turned out to be a bathroom. Waiting for us was a tub filled with hot, steamy water and bubbles. She stood next to the tub and held a hand out to it to indicate that I should get in. With a groan of pleasure, I stepped into the scalding water and sank down into the heat. _

_She knelt beside the tub and held up a body sponge, then dipped it into the water and brought it back out, dripping wet. She squeezed some gel onto the sponge and started washing me at my neck, then down my shoulders and each of my arms, then she came back up and had me lean forward so she could wash down my back. I felt the pressure of her hands pressing me back against the tub and leaned back so she could wash down my chest and abs. _

_I moaned loudly when she dipped the sponge lower and caressed my painful, straining erection and then down under my balls. "Please, Beautiful."_

"_Don't worry, Lester. You're almost cleaned up." She was grinning, knowing that each and every touch was killing me. The sponge came up out of the water again and she reloaded it and caressed it down each of my legs and over each foot. Motioning for me to scoot forward, she poured water over my head from a large pitcher. Then she lathered up my hair and caressed my scalp with her skillful fingers. She followed it with more water poured over my head from the pitcher, massaging out the shampoo until my hair was clean and slick against my head._

_She retreated from the tub and walked around the corner only to return with a large, black terry robe. I stood up and stepped out onto the plush bath mat and she helped me into the robe, closing and tying it in front. She led me back out into the bedroom and pointed to the bed. I sat on the edge and she sank to her knees in front of me._

"_I noticed you staring at my lips. Do you like the color?" She asked with a deceptively sweet smile._

"_Oh God, yes, Beautiful!"_

"_It's called 'Cherry Pie Red' and it even smells like cherry. Would you like to try it?" She asked with an evil grin._

"_Yes, please."_

_She leaned up until her lips were a breath away and the scent of cherries tantalized my nose. She parted her lips slightly and pressed them to mine, letting me taste the confection of her mouth. Nothing tasted as sweet as Stephanie's hot, sexy mouth, smelling like fresh cherries. I moaned into her, my tongue caressing hers and tasting her mouth hungrily._

_Breaking off the kiss, she leaned back and pulled at one of the ties on my robe, loosening the bow she had made. When the knot came undone and the folds parted, she leaned forward and rested her forearms on top of my thighs. "Look here at this poor, neglected Little Lester," she said in a sultry, pouty voice. "He has been trying to get my attention for some time now. I think that he wants a taste of my cherry lips, too, don't you think, Lester?"_

"_Fuck!" I howled, watching as my cock twitched in anticipation. Grinning, she leaned forward and placed a chaste peck on the top. I growled and groaned, clenching my fists until I thought my knuckles would break in two. Her little red tongue darted out and traced the underside of the rim, sending daggers of heat shooting down through my length, causing my balls to convulse in anticipation._

_With a final grin, she slid her mouth over me and closed those damned red lips around the base, letting her tongue caress up and down, back and forth over the vein along the base of my cock. I groaned and froze as I watched her slide her hot mouth up to the tip, seeing the residue of lipstick trailing up the wet length. Oh shit, she knew how to torture a man. _

_Quickening her pace, she fucked me with her mouth, caressing and stroking with her tongue all the while until I lost complete control and came, cursing and screaming out her name at the top of my voice, "Shit, Bombshell!"_

"Santos!"

Ranger's voice washed over me like ice water and I snapped my eyes to his, willing my breathing to slow down, sending up a little prayer that he hadn't noticed the state I was in. "Yeah, Boss?" My voice croaked pathetically.

"Mats. Tomorrow morning. 0500!" Then he turned and stalked out of the empty conference room.

I was in deep shit, but it was worth it, even if it only happened in my wildest fantasy. I really wondered if Stephanie actually had those piercings, though…


	2. A Lester Halloween Ch 2

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment._

_**WARNING: Lester has a very dirty mind. Major smut contained within! Please don't be too upset with him, he just can't help those naughty thoughts. Warning is for content and language. Offensive words are used often, including the "c" word.**_

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**Tuesday, October 27th**

I was waiting in the Escalade for her in her parking lot and talking to Ranger on the phone. This was the first time I was allowed near her since the core team meeting yesterday morning. My nose still held a bandage from being broken and I was sporting two black eyes. I'd never quite seen my cousin that angry before and I didn't blame him. If I'd been lucky enough to have Stephanie Plum, I would have been murderous...

"You get that, Santos?"

"Affirmative."

"The only reason you are on this surveillance assignment with her is because she requested you. She, for whatever reason, seems to think you can be trusted." His voice was steel-edged as he said, "If Stephanie trusts you, I trust you. Don't give me a reason to kick your ass again."

"No, sir." God, he could be such a prick, but I really didn't blame him in this case...

I was determined to have a normal, friendly relationship with Stephanie. We'd been close, partnering up for takedowns and working distraction missions together. She trusted me and I couldn't let myself be overcome with lust for her enough to jeopardize that friendship and trust.

Just as I'd settled my own resolve in my head, I saw a brown curly-haired head bobbing its way through the parked cars. She appeared at the passenger door and opened it, giving me a wide smile with her blue eyes focused on me, showing her pleasure at having my company. "Lester! He let you come!"

I smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about all that, Beautiful. I was having a rough morning and..."

She held up a hand. "It's okay. Probably if it had been anyone but you, I would have been creeped out, but," she laughed for a second before continuing, "that just seems _so_ like you!"

I tilted my head back and laughed heartily. She was right. I was Lester Santos, Trenton's own Don Juan, and all the ladies loved Lester. All except Stephanie Plum, well, at least not in the way I would prefer for her to love me. "You've got that right, Beautiful."

"Okay, Les. Let's do it. I have a viewing to get Grandma to this evening and we're going to be cutting it close." She was climbing up into the passenger seat while she spoke. My breath hitched in my throat at the tight black miniskirt she wore to complement her gray cashmere sweater. She looked soft and warm, and incredibly sexy.

I groaned inwardly as both of my engines started going: the SUV and my libido. I did my best not to look at the long, creamy legs stretched out in front of her. I noticed the ridiculously high heels on her feet and fought the shudder that threatened to travel down my spine.

I pulled out of her parking lot and turned toward the highway when she faced me and asked, "Do you think we could stop by Tommy Fuggatte's? I've heard he might be able to tell me where Lloyd Wheeler is hiding out."

Lloyd Wheeler was a skip she'd been tailing for two weeks. She only had a few days left on his bond and was accessing every contact she had to find him. "Sure, Beautiful. Where does he live?"

"He works in _Shades_, the new nightclub by I-95. We'll pass it on our way to Hunter's office building." Hunter was a Rangeman skip we were tailing. So far he had been elusive, but we were closing in. He was due back at work today, so Stephanie and I were assigned to sit and watch for his arrival.

"Alright, sounds good." I drove along, keeping my eyes off any part of her body and thinking about anything sad my mind could come up with: dead puppies, children starving in Africa, and even the thought of my parents doing the nasty. It all worked for a little while. At least until we reached the club.

I pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine. She was digging through her purse with her head practically buried inside. She emerged a moment later with a tube of lipstick. Horrified, I watched as she lowered the visor and flipped up the cover on the mirror. She pulled off the cap and twisted the base until the deadly shade slid up into view. _No, please God, no!_

Slowly, she smoothed the cherry red devil paint onto her full, pouty lips and then pressed them inward and rubbed them against each other. I was full-on hard by this point and not happy about it.

She looked at me then and asked, "Do you think he'll want to talk to me?"

_No, I think he'll want to fuck you senseless._ "Sure, Beautiful. He'll definitely want to talk to you."

She flashed me a smile that blasted me with a jolt of lust and then opened the door and hopped out.

Remembering that I had a job to do and a responsibility to her, as well, I said, "If you're not back in five minutes, I'm coming in after you."

"Got it!"

She walked inside slowly, her sexy ass swinging seductively with her steps, inviting a caress, or a touch, or a lick...and just like that, my mind wandered off into forbidden territory…

_I walked into the club, letting my eyes adjust to the flashing lights and the fog emanating from machines placed strategically around the large room._

_The hostess seated me on a barstool at a tall round cafe table. Less than thirty seconds later, I saw Stephanie approaching my table and lost my ability to breathe._

_Her outfit was barely there...and incredible. She wore no top or bra, but two red velvet stars covered her round nipples, not hiding the fact that she was a bit cold. There were multiple silver bangles on each wrist, and large silver hoops dangling from each ear. _

_Her shiny brown curls were clipped up off her shoulders and a few long ringlets hung loosely around her face and neck. The cherry red lipstick matched her velvet stars to a tee. Her sultry blue eyes passed over my body._

_I traveled my eyes down over the length of her body and groaned when I saw the minuscule black daisy dukes she wore with slits up the sides almost to the waist band. Down each side of her body was a long, skinny red and black dragon in yin and yang positions: Yin on the left, Yang on the right._

_"Damn, Beautiful. Are those tattoos real?"_

_"Of course. Paint would rub off in here, so I got them done a couple of weeks ago. You like them?" She smiled seductively and rested a foot up on the lower rung of my barstool._

_My eyes journeyed down the length of her miles-long legs to see the high-heeled black sandals she wore with her outfit._

_"So, where did you get this outfit, Beautiful?"_

_She leaned closer to me, trapping my bicep between her naked breasts and letting her lips whisper against my ear, "It's my work uniform, Lester."_

_"You work here?"_

_"Oh yes."_

_"When do you get off?"_

_She gave me a wicked grin and rubbed her breasts up and down my arm, moaning lightly, then bending down to gently bite my shoulder, leaving a perfect print of her lips in cherry red at the spot. "Thirty minutes. Are you going to get me off?"_

_I could feel my eyes dilating when I looked into her face. She was amused, and turned on. The sight was erotic beyond imagination. "Hell yes."_

_"Good. Meet me at the bar in twenty-nine minutes." Then she turned around and walked away, swinging her hips to tantalize me. It took me a full minute to realize what I was seeing._

_At the base of her spine was a corset piercing about four inches high. It started at her waist and stopped just above her low waist band. Through the silver loops, starting at the top, was a red velvet ribbong, criss-crossed and tied in a bow at the base. The tails hung down to mid-thigh and billowed in the breeze created by her movement._

_I closed my eyes and swallowed. Twenty-nine, I checked my watch, twenty-eight minutes would never take so long._

_Exactly twenty-eight minutes later, I was waiting for her at the bar. She showed up a few seconds after I arrived and hooked her arm through mine. "Ready to go, Lester?"_

_"Absolutely. Do you have a coat?"_

_"Do I need one? Would it bother you if I was cold?" She stuck her lips out in a pout while she spoke, but her eyes were dancing. Damn! Far be it from me to keep her from being cold if that's what she wanted._

_"You want me to keep you warm, instead?"_

_Grinning, she nodded and I slid my arm around her, tugging her tight against my body when we went out to my car._

_My personal vehicle is a black Cadillac XLR-V. I opened the door and helped her into the low passenger seat, then rounded the hood to hop into the driver's seat. "Where to?"_

_"My apartment. I have a surprise for you there."_

_Damn, again! I got us to her apartment in record time and pressed her close to my body during the ride in the elevator up to her apartment. Once we got inside, she led me to the couch and pushed me down onto it before even turning on the lights._

_"Close your eyes, Lester."_

_I complied and listened while she turned on the lights, then I heard the sound of skin rubbing against metal. I was just about to ask what was going on, when she told me to open my eyes._

_When I opened them, all I could do was groan out my appreciation. Stephanie was hanging upside down on a stripper pole, her legs bent around the cold metal, her back against it, her breasts dangling toward her face._

_"Do you like it?"_

_"Fuck!" Was the only thing I could get out._

_"Not yet, Lester. You have to watch the show first." She pulled her body upward and gripped the pole with both hands, swinging her legs down to firmly plant her feet on the floor. Then she turned around, bending low with her ass in the air, to turn on the boom box she had on the floor behind her. My mouth went dry when I saw the bottom edge of her two perfect cheeks peeking out beneath the shorts._

_The song "Figured You Out" by Nickelback came on and she started gyrating and rubbing her body against the pole. She jumped on it and twirled around it, sliding up and down, rubbing her pussy up and down it, licking it, and wrapping her arms and legs around it._

_Midway through the song, she reached down and unsnapped a button on the side of her waist band that I hadn't noticed. She continued her seduction dance, sliding her hands inside the open edge of her shorts, slipping them down to rub her hand over her mound, moaning while she did it._

_I almost came unglued, but I waited. I wanted to see what she would do. This was her show._

_Removing her hand, she swiveled her hips and bucked against the pole again, closing her eyes and groaning at the contact against her sensitive flesh, even through the shorts. A minute later, she unsnapped the button on the other side of her waist and the shorts fell away, leaving her naked until she finished the dance. The ties of her corset ribbon glided over her ass, teasing and tantalizing her flesh._

_She ended the routine, upside down, her back against the pole, her hands gripping the base, and her ankles hooked around it at a point near her ass. Her legs, bent at the knees, were spread apart, her pussy open and bare for me to view._

_Mesmerized, I stood and walked over to her. She was breathing hard, trying to catch her breath. I could see, even in the low light, how her perfectly shaped lips glistened with her desire. I placed my hands on her hips and stroked upward over her thighs, sliding my palms over the tops them and to the inside, stroking back downward until my thumbs were caressing the bare flesh of her sweet, wet cunt._

_"God, I want to lick you, to taste you."_

_"Please," she whispered._

_Sliding both thumbs up and down her slit, I dipped them in and parted her even further, leaning down to get my first taste of Plum juiciness._

_I groaned against her hot, moist flesh when the scent and taste of her intimate desire entered my senses. I slid my hands lower to her hips and held them firmly with my hands and lifted her, freeing her arms her own weight. With a low growl, I feasted on her. Licking, sucking, nipping, and claiming every inch of her with my mouth._

_When she finally came for the third time, I stopped, and helped her out of her position so that she was standing in front of me, cherry covered lips parted, her chest heaving._

_Suddenly, a feral gleam entered her eyes and she grabbed the front of my shirt and slammed me against the pole, ripping my silk dress shirt open, sending buttons flying all over the room._

_I closed my eyes when she unclasped my dress slacks and lowered them, sinking to her knees and sliding her hot mouth over my bulging cock and grabbing my hips so she could pull me in all the way to the hilt._

_I felt the back of her throat relax and open for me so that the tip of my cock was massaging it while she started sucking on me and sliding her mouth all the way to the tip and then slamming back down onto me, wrapping her lips around the base. God I loved the look of her cherry lips wrapped around my hot, pulsing cock. The sight incensed my already raging pulse._

_She quickened her pace until I was shouting and I came, shooting my molten liquid into the back of her throat._

_Still unsatisfied, she stood and climbed onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist and the pole together and slamming her dripping wet pussy onto my thick, still-hard cock. I hadn't been fully satisfied, yet, either and hissed out her name as her moist fire clamped around me._

_Using the pole for leverage, she began slapping herself up and down on my cock, riding me for all she was worth. The feeling was beyond words and all I could do was gasp and groan while she tormented my straining dick with her slick cunt._

_"You like that, Lester?" She whispered harshly against my ear. "You like to feel my cunt sucking on your hard cock?"_

_I could only nod._

_"She's a greedy, greedy girl, Lester. She wants to taste your hot cum. Don't make her wait. She can be a cruel girl when she has to wait." She bit the side of my neck and I could feel my orgasm building to near painfulness._

_"Do you want her to be naughty all over you, Lester?"_

_"Fuck, yes," I ground out through clenched teeth._

_"She's getting ready, Lester. Come on, make her happy." Her voice was rising in pitch and I could feel the beginnings of her tremors start on me._

_I gripped her hips and slammed into her harshly, ramming my cock against her G-Spot. That was all she needed. She howled as her tender flesh convulsed around my cock and I growled as I shot myself off inside her, letting the motion of her tremors milk the cum out of me._

_I stood there, with her still wrapped around my body, waiting for my legs to stop trembling._

"Lester!"

I snapped my head up and looked around. Daylight. Escalade. Work. _Shit_.

I looked over at Stephanie and she was staring wide-eyed through the driver's side window.

I slowly turned my head to see Ranger standing there, a furious look on his face. It was then that I noticed my hands wrapped around my cock, freed from my cargos and wet with my cum. _Holy fuck_.

"Santos!" He screamed at me through the window. "Monitor duty the rest of the week. Meet me on the mats tomorrow morning at 0400!"

He turned around abruptly and left, calling for Stephanie to go with him. I looked over at Stephanie and she had a shocked look on her face. With a brief wave, she high-tailed it after Ranger, leaving me to do surveillance on my own.

Fuck. She had to stop wearing that damned lipstick...


	3. A Lester Halloween Ch 3

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment.._

_**WARNING: Lester has a very dirty mind. Major smut contained within! Please don't be too upset with him, he just can't help those naughty thoughts.**_

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**Wednesday, October 28****th**

I woke up this morning at 3:40 am to jump into the shower and throw on my gym clothes before running downstairs to the gym to meet Ranger. When I got there, I found him already warmed up and waiting for me. His arms were crossed over his chest, his expression was dark, and he was ready to do some damage.

I swallowed my embarrassment over the predicament he'd caught me in, correction, they'd both caught me in, and walked up to stand in front of him, head held high. I wasn't going to cower like a cadet.

"Santos." His standard greeting stretched across the space between us and chilled me like a rogue ice cube running down my spine. His tone made it clear that he was still angry. As if I'd expected anything else.

I nodded to him and he pointed to the center of the mat. Biting back a sigh, I stood in the place he wanted me and stood at attention, waiting. Best not to rile him up anymore than he already was.

"What did I say to you on the phone yesterday, Santos?" He began to circle around me slowly, flexing his knuckles and occasionally shadow boxing to keep his muscles warm.

"Sir, that Stephanie trusted me, so you trusted me and not to make you kick my ass, sir!" What a fucker. My own cousin and he's treating me like an army grunt. I was a fucking Lieutenant in the Army!

"At least you heard what I said, it's listening that is the problem." He stopped and threw a jab at my left arm, which I quickly sidestepped. My senses were on high alert. I moved back to my place, but decided I wasn't going to play by his rules if he was going to start throwing sucker punches.

He stopped moving and stood in front of me in a fighting stance. "I suggest you listen in the future." He lurched forward and grabbed my shirt, tossing my sideways to the floor before slamming his elbow down onto the back of my skull.

I woke up later on my back with Bobby smacking my cheek, having no idea how much time had passed. "You awake, Sleeping Beauty?"

"Fuck off."

Bright white teeth against dark skin were the response to my remark. "Okay, let me make sure you don't have a concussion."

I pushed him away and stood, shaking off my dizziness. "Let me just get this shift over with." I had a ticket to the Ranger's game that night and didn't want to end up having to work late.

"Santos!" I heard Ranger bark from the locker room entrance. "Let Brown assess your condition."

"Gonna take a pass on that one, boss. Thanks so much for _caring_." I stalked off to the elevator and headed to my apartment to shower and change for my shift.

I made it through the day on monitor duty, still pissed off at Ranger's attitude. I was a silent partner of Rangeman and he was treating me like an employee. I needed to have a talk with him about that soon.

When my shift ended, I got to my room, took a five minute shower, and threw on my Rangers jersey with a pair of jeans and white and red cross trainers. I was running about thirty minutes late and wanted to get to my seat in time before the game started. I passed Ranger in the hall as I sprinted for the elevator.

"Santos." He said, but I didn't acknowledge him. Even if I was running late, he wouldn't hear a word of complaint from me, but tonight, I wouldn't answer to him, either.

I saw him studying me until the elevator doors closed, separating us. Once down in the garage, I jogged to my truck and raced off. I was looking forward to this game. Hockey had just the right amount of aggression to calm me down.

I arrived at Madison Square Garden and lucked out being able to park more quickly than I anticipated, so I had a full twenty minutes to get to my seat. I patiently waited my turn in the lines, had my ticket checked and made my way to my row, figuring I could grab a beer after first period.

As I neared my row, I saw familiar brown curls in the aisle seat, which happened to be my seat. _Unfuckingbelievable_. I shook my head at the luck I was having this week. How had I managed to run into Stephanie Plum _again_?

I walked up beside her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Excuse me. I believe this is my seat."

Startled, she turned to look up at me and smiled as recognition flooded into her eyes. "Les! What are you doing here? Is this really your seat?"

I smiled. "Yeah, Beautiful. This is really my seat, but I'll let you have it if yours isn't far away."

She laughed and pointed to the seat next to hers. "I know it's just right here, but I like the aisle better."

I grinned and stepped over her jeans-clad legs and plopped into the seat beside her. "Looks like I made it just in time." The players had started to line up for the face-off. I could feel my adrenaline kick in. I loved hockey and I loved watching the Rangers play. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had been a Ranger, but whatever the reason, they were my team.

Stephanie and I looked at each other and smiled. I was glad that she didn't appear fazed from the scene she had witnessed yesterday in the truck, but I wanted to clear the air. "Hey, Beautiful."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about yesterday…I never meant to do that."

She laughed. "Les, if it had been anyone but you I would have been freaked. It just doesn't seem that farfetched for you. Don't worry about it."

"You say that a lot…am I that much of a perve to you?"

She just laughed in response and said, "I said don't worry about it."

"Okay, I won't."

The referee dropped the puck and the crowd jumped into the air to witness the first face-off of the game. We watched the teams race from one end of the ice down to the other, pushing, shoving and punching each other. It was raw emotion and strategy all packaged up together in a sporting event; I was having a great time.

About ten minutes into the period, Stephanie turned to me and asked, "Les, you want a beer?"

"Sure, Corona. Thanks." I pulled some cash out of my pocket and she waved me off.

"You can get the next one, Les."

I watched her swinging hips retreat up the stairs and shook my head, forcing myself to return to the game. When she returned ten minutes later, my breath whooshed out of me in a rush. I hadn't really taken in her appearance when I arrived, but I knew she hadn't been wearing the fucking lipstick. She'd had to have gone to the bathroom to freshen up. Her brown curls were in a ponytail and she had some mascara on her long black lashes, accentuating her bright blue eyes.

The blue jersey with red and white accent stripes only deepened the color of her eyes and made her creamy smooth skin stand out. I wanted to reach my hand up and stroke her cheek. She smiled at me and handed me my beer and said something, but I was lost in thought.

_The whole stadium grew dark and I couldn't see a thing. I looked around, but there wasn't even a _hint_ of light anywhere. I could feel the cold of the ice working its way into my bones, settling in and chilling me. For some reason, I felt I was supposed to go down to the ice, so I put my hands out and felt my way down the steps, touching chairs, railing and anything else that would help guide me down to the lowest level, and eventually the ice._

_When I reached the bottom, I found the gate to the ice and opened it, stepping carefully out so I didn't slip and injure myself. After I had taken a few steps, a light came on with a loud bang. It shone down to the center of the ice where a woman was standing. I walked toward her and noticed that her outfit was so damn hot I was immediately hard and straining against the zipper of my jeans._

_The tiny Rangers jersey, if you could call it that, covered only her breasts and came out on a flat neckline low on her chest which stretched out across her arms, becoming the tops of little sleeves on her upper arms. Her bare abdomen was trim and sensual above the tiniest pair of blue daisy dukes I had ever seen in my life. The top of the shorts were below her hip bones and the legs of the shorts came up and rested in the crease between her legs and her pelvis._

_On her feet were knee high white athletic socks with one blue and red stripe at the top around her upper calves. She wore red and blue figure skates that looked like 70s era tennis shoes._

_My eyes traveled up and down her body, finally settling on her face. Desire punched me in the gut when my eyes met her cherry red covered lips, flushed cheeks, and bright blue eyes. Her curly hair was up in pigtails on the sides of her head._

"_Stephanie," my voice croaked when I breathed her name._

_She grinned and turned around, pushing off to skate away from me. I sucked in a breath at the sight of her beautiful ass barely covered by the back of her shorts. The hem came up in a half moon over her cheeks exposing a great deal of silky flesh._

_The lights came up until there was a low ambient lighting on the ice now and I watched as she skated around the goal post and then made her way toward me, skating at full tilt. I was having thoughts of jumping out of her way when she got very close to me, still going fast, when she stopped and skidded sideways to a stop right in front of me, the blades of her skates throwing a showy shower of shaved ice at me._

_With a mischievous smile, she grinned and pressed the full length of her hot and sexy little body up against my hot, hard and horny body. Grinning, she reached down and stroked me through my jeans, sticking out her pouty lips to say, "Oh, Lester. Someone is a very _bad_ boy! Do you want to get your stick into a legal play position or do I need to give you a penalty for high sticking?"_

_I gulped and opened my mouth. "It depends."_

_She grinned. "Now I'm just going to have to make the choice for you." Placing her hands on her hips, she surveyed me and then said, "Get down on your knees, Lester."_

_I sank to my knees, noting that the freezing ice was already chilling the skin under the denim fabric. Keeping her hands on her hips, she turned around, presenting me with a full view of her squeezable cheeks. Just then, _Something In Your Mouth_ by Nickelback started playing from the loudspeakers and I knew I was in for some torture._

_Her mesmerizing little hips started twitching in time to the music and, when the lyrics started, she turned around to face me, shaking, shimmying and grinding her pelvis in time to the beat and the message of the words, all the while stroking her breasts and pussy to tease me. At one point, she stopped in front of me, gripping my chin with her hand, and leaned down to place one of the hottest kisses I'd ever experienced on my mouth. Her tongue traced around my lips and then her mouth opened and claimed mine while her tongue possessed my mouth ravenously. We broke apart and she sank to her knees in front of me, lifting her arms up on the air and staring at me with a grin._

_Taking her cue, I grabbed her tiny jersey and whipped it up over her head. My breath hitched in my throat at the sight that greeted me. She wore no bra and her hard nipples each had a large platinum hoop pierced through the center of them. Unable to help myself, I leaned forward and gripped one of the rings between my teeth, gently tugging it side to side. She moaned loudly and slid a hand up under her breast to press it closer to my mouth._

_Instead of taking the bait, I moved across to the other nipple and gripped that ring, repeating the action. I did this three times and on the third pass, she suddenly screamed out in orgasm from the tension and the sensations created by the tugging on her oversensitive nipples. _

_I smiled and pulled back, licking my lips and leaning forward while tugging her hips against mine and taking her mouth full force. I kissed her, teasing and tasting her with my tongue, all the while rubbing my painfully hard cock against her soft, inviting pussy through our clothing, making sure to press against her clit. She moaned and pressed closer until she was suddenly bucking her hips against me and screaming out my name._

_God, I loved the sound of my name on her lips when she was full of passion like this. And Stephanie Plum was always full of passion._

_When her moans subsided, she gave me a wicked glance and said, "High sticking it is, I'm going to have to give you a penalty."_

_She began to strip me, pulling off my jersey and unbuttoning my jeans. I stood and kicked off my trainers and my jeans and stood before her naked except for my socks and ready for her._

"_No, no socks, Lester. You are so, so bad that I'm going to have to give you at least ten minutes for misconduct for going commando." She grinned and tugged me down to my knees and then she pushed up from the ice and stood in front of me. We were staring into each others' eyes and suddenly, she lifted a leg and rested it on my shoulder. _

_I closed my eyes and pressed my face into her pelvis, breathing in the musky, heady scent of her. Raising my eyes to hers, I flicked my tongue out and caressed her clit through her shorts, feeling a small hard object that I couldn't identify. She threw her head back with a moan and ground out through her teeth, "Off, Lester!"_

_Deciding that the skates would be a problem, I did what any hormone frenzied male would do and I ripped the fuckers off her body. She gasped in pleasure and then moaned. I groaned loudly when I saw her beautiful bare pussy before me and stopped short at the realization that she was pierced there. A small diamond peeked out at the apex of her labia and another peeked out just above her clit. This explained the hard object I had felt._

"_Oh my God!" I said before leaning forward to touch my tongue to one of the gems. She cried out and pressed her pelvis forward, trying to get more contact. Already at the edge of my control, I slide my hands up between her legs and cupped a smooth round cheek in each hand to hold her steady. I then leaned forward and dipped my tongue in between her lips, tasting her. _

"_Sweet heaven, you taste so fucking good!" With that, I dove in, licking and nipping at her slick folds like a parched man lapping up water at an oasis in the desert. Her moans mingled with mine and when she came, an explosion of her juices flowed into my waiting mouth._

_I sucked and drank of her until her moans were reduced to whimpers and she lowered her leg to stand in front of me on shaky legs. I shouted in shock and pain when she pushed me back so I was lying naked on the freezing ice. "This will only hurt for a minute, bad boy." _

_She grabbed a hold of my cock and lowered herself down onto it, riding me fast and hard. My body was warring with sensations; the cold at my back and the heat at my front. I wasn't sure which would win out until I felt the familiar tension building in my lower pelvis. Just when I thought it couldn't get better, she reached behind her and started massaging my balls. I came within seconds of this, shouting and cursing in pleasure and pain. _

_When my cock finally stopped twitching, I looked up at her and she was staring at me dumbstruck. _

"Lester?"

"Yes, Beautiful?"

"You wanna stand up?"

"Huh?"

"Stand up, _now!_"

I blinked and realized that Stephanie was standing in front of me and we were at a Rangers game. I was on my knees in front of her with a hard-on the size of the Statue of Liberty.

"Get up! You're on the big screen. _GET UP!_" She looked panicked and I turned my head to see the image of me on the ground in front of Stephanie with the caption, 'Will You Marry Me?' underneath and I groaned. It was then that I heard the crowd 'awwing' at us.

I had only one thought as I got to my feet and sat in the seat to watch the rest of the game. _Please, if there is a God, please help Ranger not to have seen that on television._ My phone rang just then and I sighed before answering it. I was never going to be out of trouble over this woman.

"Yo." I said into the phone after flipping it open.

"Mats as soon as you get in from the game." I heard a click and he was gone.

"Well, fuck!" It was all because of that damned lipstick!


	4. A Lester Halloween Ch 4

_Disclaimer: __All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment._

_A/N: Only one more day left! Thanks for reading everyone!_

_**WARNING: Lester hasn't gotten any cleaner since the last chapter. He is just as dirty-minded and obsessed as ever. Warning is for sexual content and language.**_

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**Thursday, October 29****th**

I woke with a groan this morning. Today was going to be unpleasant. I'd had a late night at the game last night and then had to drive all the way back to Trenton to face a raging Ranger on the mats. Twice in one day, that was a new personal record for me. Hell, meeting him on the mats every day for the past three days was a personal record for me.

I sat up and hissed in pain when the tender muscles in my abdomen protested movement of any kind. "Ugh." Dragging myself out of bed, I limped to the bathroom for a hot shower and time to process what I had to do today.

Ranger felt, and I agreed, that a vacation was in order for me. I was headed to the Rangeman travel agent this morning to book a trip to Tahiti. It was just what I needed: Tahitian beauties, beaches, alcohol, and time away from the accursed lipstick that had been following me everywhere. I planned to leave on Saturday, Halloween, Stephanie's favorite holiday. And I wouldn't have to see her in a skimpy costume wearing my curse on her lips.

The hot water soothed my aching muscles and I stepped out of the shower relaxed and ready for the day. Getting dressed was interesting because bending over hurt like a bitch. Ranger had really done a number on my ribs. I groaned and sat on my bed to pull up my cargos. Even if I made it to Tahiti in one piece, I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle a Tahitian beauty. If I thought I could keep myself from getting beat up, I'd wait a couple of weeks to heal…but that would defeat the purpose of why I was leaving in the first place.

I left my apartment and took the elevator to the garage. Normally I took the stairs, but this week had been exceptionally painful and I didn't think I could handle all the movement.

My truck waited for me, sleek and black, at a parking spot near the garage's entrance. Just a few more hours to get through today and then I could drag my aching body to bed. I could do this. I mentally ticked through my to-do list: book my trip; take the body receipts to the bonds office; shop for a couple of Speedos, tropical shirts, and sandals; and avoid Stephanie Plum at all costs.

Maris Feldman was the travel agent Rangeman used for all business and personal travel. The frequent use meant great discounts and fewer errors. Maris knew each of the core team's personal travel preferences and took great care to ensure satisfaction for every trip booked.

Her blonde hair was hanging down around her shoulders in big, loose curls today. Her gray eyes were hidden behind small red-framed reading glasses while she studied a report. Her makeup, as always, was neutral and made her seem more approachable. When the bell above the front door dinged, she raised her head and smiled a wide grin in greeting to me.

"Hey, Lester! Coming in to book a trip?"

"Yeah, Mare. How about Tahiti? I want to leave Saturday and return in two weeks or so." I sat down in the chair in front of her desk. "Think you can do it?"

"Does Batman wear a mask?" This was her standard response and I was starting to suspect she had a crush on a certain real-life Batman type.

I grinned. "You never fail me, Mare."

She started tapping away at the keyboard and scanning the computer screen in front of her. "You looking for something romantic or functional?"

I was definitely hoping for some romance, so I said, "Romantic, definitely."

Right then the bell over the door dinged and I immediately started praying in my head. _Oh dear God, please don't let that be Stephanie at the door. I know it seems foolish for me to think it would be her, but this is the way my life has been going lately. So, can you help a fella out and– _

I didn't get to finish my prayer. A gentle hand pressed to my shoulder and a quiet "Les?" told me that my prayers were being ignored today. _Shit!_

I turned around and was met with the full force of the infernal lipstick. Maybe it was following me? I turned my head to take a quick glance at Mare. Nope, hers was flesh toned and wet…hmm, a thought for another day. I turned back to Stephanie and groaned. Out loud.

"Sorry, Les. I guess you probably don't want to see me right now since you've had so much trouble on account of me. I'll come back later when you're done." She turned to leave and guilt slammed into my chest at the forlorn look on her face. Dammit! We were friends. I hated this!

"Stephanie, no! It's not you." I stood up and crossed over to her, pulling her into a friendly hug that didn't feel all that friendly to me in my current state. _Focus, man._ "I'm just having a bad morning and, yes, seeing you did remind me of something," _I wasn't telling her what_, "but it's just because I have some things I need to take care of."

She gifted me with a slight smile and I noticed her blue eyes were a little damp. "Did I make you cry?"

"No. I just feel so bad that you've had mats four times this week with Ranger…I've tried to explain to him that we're just friends. He didn't take the whole proposing thing very well last night, though…" She bit her lip and I had a sudden urge to lean forward and bite it for her.

"I wasn't proposing! I just…it was a long day! I just lost it. _In my head_. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even know I was on the floor until you told me to stand. Maybe I need a mental hospital instead of a vacation!" I released her and ran my hands through my hair while I stomped around the room in anger.

I watched as she searched the top of the desk looking for something interesting that would help change the subject of our conversation.

"You're going on vacation?"

"Yeah. I just need to get away for a couple of weeks. Stress." _The stress of seeing you in that goddamned lipstick every fucking day of my life lately_.

She gave me a wide smile and I nearly passed out at the sight. Normal, content Stephanie was hard to handle. Beaming Stephanie was enough to twitch the cocks of every single man within a two mile radius, mine not excluded. "That's great, Les. Where are you going?"

"Tahiti."

"Ah," she said, getting a naughty smile on her face. Did I say that beaming Stephanie was enough to twitch the cocks of every man in a two mile radius? Make that naughty Stephanie, and make it blue balls; and while you're at it, add three miles to that radius. Holy fuck! "You gonna get wet and wild with a Tahitian beauty, Les?" Her eyes twinkled as she spoke.

I couldn't help it. The minute she said wet and wild from those red-stained lips with her eyes full of mischief, my mind took me on vacation early.

_It was a bright, sunny day; not a cloud in the sky. I was swimming in a peaceful lagoon, surrounded by sand and, a little out beyond the sand bar, the ocean. It was so relaxing that I leaned back and began floating in the water, enjoying my solitude._

_A splash sounded to my left and I turned my head and creaked open an eye to look but I saw nothing. There was a splash to my right and I turned to look again, but still saw nothing. Figuring that a playful sea creature must have made its way into the lagoon at high tide, I closed my eyes and focused on peace and solitude._

_I had almost forgotten the creature, when I felt something large brush up against my leg. Wondering what the hell it was, I sat up, but not before a hand closed around my ankle and yanked me under the water. Instinctively, I closed my mouth and held my breath and kicked my legs to propel myself upward and out of the water._

_Looking around, I didn't see the offending person, but I heard a giggle. The water was clear as crystal and I couldn't believe anyone could have swum fast enough to be able to hide. Turning around quickly, I spotted her about fifteen feet behind me, leaning on a boulder at the edge of the water._

"_Stephanie, your ass is mine." She was wearing a skimpy bikini that barely covered her nipples and the small triangle at the apex of her thighs was in a bright blue color, suggesting perfectly shaped hairless pussy lips. There were strings tied up around her neck, around her back and low at both hips. Her lips were painted with the infernal lipstick and caused a jolt of fire to shoot from the base all the way to the tip of my cock. It was a long way._

"_Only if you can catch me, Slowpoke," she laughed and dove into the water swimming away from me._

_Laughing, I swam after her, my arms plowing through the water, my legs kicking with such force that I easily reached her in under a minute. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tight up against me. Big blue eyes full of mischief stared up into my hazel eyes. She batted her long, bare lashes at me and said, "Oh no! Captured by a pirate! What will I do?"_

_God, if this woman couldn't send me into a damned frenzy faster than hornets in a shaken nest, I didn't know who could. "Argh, me Beauty! I've caught ye. But it'll take more'n yer big blue eyes to stop me from followin' through with me plans. I'm gonna have ter make ye walk the plank!" I growled in my gruffest voice._

"_Oh dear! Walk the plank…can't we work out some sort of…" she gave me an evil grin and untied the straps around her neck, "arrangement?"_

_I could feel my eyes focusing in on her at the suggestion. "It would take a mighty fine arrangement to turn Cap'n Les away from 'is purpose!"_

_She reached behind her and untied the back straps to her top. The two tiny scraps of material left were holding onto her nipples by just the damp from the water. My throat went dry and I stared at the useless straps floating in the water around her torso. "See anything I can bargain with?"_

"_Argh!" I half-growled, half-groaned while leaning forward to tug a wet triangle from her breast. Her pink, hard nipple stared up at me when I uncovered it, almost begging to be possessed. I figured I was no one to argue with a hard and ready nipple. I placed kisses all around the areola and pulled back to rub the tip of my nose back and forth across the roughened flesh of her nipple._

_A soft gasp escaped her throat and her hands tugged on my shoulders to bring me closer, but I resisted, moving my head to her other breast and removing the scrap of material from her nipple. This time, I kissed around the areola and then scraped the five o'clock shadow on my chin over the sensitive flesh of the pink peak._

_A low moan reached my ears and she frantically pulled on my shoulders, trying to increase the pressure. I pulled back and gave her a wicked grin. "Methinks the lady is a mite too hasty!"_

_Her bright blue eyes had darkened to a deep sapphire blue and the mischief level went up another notch. She let go of my shoulders and reached down into the water to untie both sides of her bottoms simultaneously._

_As the bottoms drifted away from her body, I admired the effects of her Brazilian wax. She noticed the object of my scrutiny and spread her legs to give me a better look. I sucked in a breath at her boldness and hooked a hand around her waist to draw her close to me and settle myself between her legs._

"_Mmm," she purred. "We're going to have to get to the _bottom _of these negotiations, Captain." As she said the word 'bottom' she flexed her pelvis against me, caressing my rock hard cock with a kiss from her bare nether lips. _

_Unable to help myself, I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. She leaned forward to lick a droplet of salty water from my neck and I groaned. "Methinks yer quite the persuasive negotiator, me Beauty. I'll spare ye the plank on me ship, but I expect yer help with another plank."_

_She pulled my face down to meet hers and looked deeply into my eyes. "Why, Captain Les, I thought you'd never ask." With that, she kissed her way down my neck and over my collarbones, then down to each of my taut, brown nipples. Her teeth grazed the sensitive flesh and her lips closed around the straining buds, drawing another groan from me._

_With ferociousness I hadn't anticipated, she gave a small growl and bit down on my nipple, hard. I yelled and she began sucking firmly on my flesh, causing my cock to jump and grow even harder, throwing me into even deeper torture than I had been in._

_She released my nipple and nipped and bit her way down my abs and then, holding her breath, went underwater to tug down my Speedo, freeing my thick, hard erection from its prison. She came back up for air and gave me a wicked little grin, before wrapping her legs around my waist and kissing me with a fierce passion, all the while rubbing up and down my cock with her hot, swollen lips. Fuck, she felt like she was ready for me._

_I gripped her hips, ready to slam into her, but she pulled back and, with a secretive smile, dove under the water again, this time sliding her hot, perfect mouth over the tip, sucking hard. After a few seconds, her hand replaced her mouth, rubbing and teasing, so she could come up for another breath. She went under again and slid her hot, wet mouth down the entire length of my engorged flesh, then sliding back up again. The mixture of sensations was wreaking havoc with my senses and I felt the fire start to burn low in my gut. Again and again, she came up for air and then returned to suck and torture my cock until, finally, I released with a loud yell and she sucked me dry before returning to the surface again._

"_How the fuck did you learn to do that?" I asked her when we'd both started breathing normally again._

_She grinned and slicked her hair back with her hands, causing her breasts to dance before my eyes and sending tendrils of desire through my body once again. "I like water sports," she said simply. I was immediately hard again._

_Growling out her name, I gripped her wrist and swam us over to the rock I'd found her lounging against. It was a rounded, smooth rock and would work perfectly for what I had planned. None too gently, I scooped her out of the water and laid her across the rock on her back so that her head was hanging upside down and her hair trailing in the sand below. I hooked one of her ankles over my shoulder and began to tease small circles at her entrance with the tip of my fully erect cock._

_She gasped and tipped her pelvis up, but I continued to tease her until we were both panting from want. Just when I thought I was going to lose it, she screamed out, begging me in an agonized voice, "Lester, fuck me NOW!"_

_My mind went into wild oblivion when I slammed inside her, feeling her tight muscles clench and caress me, sending undeniable pleasure coursing through my body. "Shit, Stephanie, you're perfect."_

_I looked down and could see her chin and the outline of her fucking hot, red lips open in abandonment. The sight drove me out of my mind and I began moving with a purpose within her. With my hand braced against her chest between her breasts, pinning her to the rock, I pulled out almost completely and then slammed all the way in to the hilt, full force._

"_Tell me how you like it, Beautiful!!" I groaned out harshly._

"_God, my fucking cunt is so greedy for your damned cock, Lester. I love how you slam into me, almost painfully. Oh God, hit me hard inside, Lester! Ram your cock into my pussy! Punish me for how greedy she is! Fuck me harder!" She yelled, writhing beneath me, getting close to her release._

_I could feel the heat rush over my flesh and her juices started pouring out about three seconds before her explosion gripped me and took me out of this world. I had no idea how loud I screamed, but my voice was raw when I was done and said to her, "I have never, never had a woman send me out of my mind like that before, Beautiful. Shit."_

_She grinned and looked up at me. "Are you okay, Lester?"_

"Oh yeah, I'm doing great, Beautiful. That was the best, ever."

"What was the best, Lester?" Her bewildered tone snapped me out of my daydream. "And why do I send you out of your mind?"

"Um…uh." I looked around. Both she and Mare were staring at me with confused expressions on their faces. "The hug. You always know just how to make me feel better."

She smiled with a look that said she knew I was lying and answered her cell phone when it chirped from her hip. "Carlos! Hi!" She listened for a second and then said, "I can be there in about ten. I'm at the travel agent's office. Mary Lou wants to surprise Lenny with a trip to Vegas so I thought I'd get some travel information from Maris for her. Hey! Guess who I ran into here!" More silence as she listened. "No! Lester! I guess he's going on vacation and he sure needs it. He's still acting strange this morning! He's got that faraway look in his eyes again. When was the last time he had a vacation?"

_Ah, fuck!_

"Sure, I'll meet you for lunch. Pino's?" She smiled while she listened and then hung up. She looked at me then, "You want to join us at Pino's?"

"Nah, I have lunch plans. Thanks, Beautiful. I'll see you around."

She smiled at me and leaned up to kiss my cheek before accepting an envelope from Maris that she'd obviously had prepared for her ahead of time. "See you guys later!"

Maris looked at me, a gleam in her eye. "So, let me guess, you wish it was a trip for two, right? Because the way you were just looking at her…"

Closing my eyes, I slowly shook my head and sank into the chair, sitting low enough that I could rest my head against the back. I held up my phone and waited. Three, two, one…_chirp, chirp__._

_Yep, mat time for me again._


	5. A Lester Halloween Ch 5

_Disclaimer: __All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment__._

_A/N: This is the final installment! Thanks for reading everyone!_

_**WARNING: Lester hasn't gotten any cleaner since the last chapter. He is just as dirty-minded and obsessed as ever. Warning is for sexual content and language.**_

********** ********** **********

**Friday, October 30th**

The Rangeman Halloween party was in full force when I joined the crew on the fifth floor. In honor of my daydreaming yesterday, I was dressed as a pirate. I had forgotten that we'd scheduled this event for the night before Halloween so everyone could have the actual Halloween night to spend with their girlfriends, wives, or families.

My biggest concern was that I'd be able to keep my cool around Stephanie when I saw her. Throughout this past week, my mind had seen her in so many positions and outfits, that I was counting on the fact that my overactive imagination would make reality pale in comparison when I saw her in her costume. I should have known that luck being on my side was never an option and that she could dress beyond my imagination.

I made my way to the beverage station and saw her standing a few steps ahead of me, waiting for a glass of punch. Parties held at Rangeman were always alcohol-free because the security business never stopped just because we were having fun. There were several men who were on duty, but would be allowed to come in and grab food and drinks throughout the evening, so we kept things fair for everyone. I was relieved I wouldn't be drinking because that lessened the chance that I would make a fool of myself where Stephanie was concerned. It was a good theory anyway.

From where I stood, I could only see her curly brown hair hanging down past her shoulders and a black cape around her body. I could only guess at what her costume was, but when she turned around, I realized she had taken it to the extreme side of naughtiness.

She wore thigh-high shiny, black patent leather boots with four inch spike heels. Her little shorts were black, patent leather with a low waistband and clung to her every curve. I suspected that her cape was meant to hide the fact that the cut of her shorts exposed a little cheek in the back. Knowing Stephanie, she'd probably picked the outfit just to torment Ranger. On her torso was a black, patent leather bustier that laced up the center and pushed her breasts up to create a very impressive cleavage. A cleavage that was currently receiving attention from my cousin's smoldering eyes and the tip of one index finger.

I didn't even have to look at her mouth to know that she was wearing _the_ lipstick, but when I did look, I noticed that she had trailed some streaks of it down from one of the creases at the side of her mouth and continued it down to her chin in honor of her costume. It looked as if she had blood running down her face and instead of turning me off, it made me hot. I started to wonder what it would be like if she sank her fake vampire fangs into my neck…

_The room was dark with just a few lit candles to give it light. In the center of the room rested an ornate black casket adorned with silver handles and accents. The air was deathly still, as if there were no life there with me._

_I turned to leave, but a clock struck midnight from the mantle over the fireplace. I heard the lid of the casket creak open and turned to find Countess Stephanie rising up from her resting place. Her wild brown curls were flared out around her head and down over her pale shoulders, untamed, and erotic as hell. Her blue eyes flashed red at me when she rose into the air and flew toward me quicker than lightning._

_Before I could blink, she had me slammed against the wall, her body pressed against mine and her mouth open, baring her razor sharp fangs at me. I should have been terrified, but it was so damned hot that all I managed to do was moan as a small amount of drool dribbled down my chin._

_"So, you come here to disturb my rest?" She asked in a thick Russian accent, rolling her R's over her tongue, dragging out her S's, and hitting the consonants hard. Her voice was a half-whisper as she spoke, the sultry tone gliding over my senses._

_"Yes. I had to see you."_

_Her glowing red eyes flashed and she hissed at me, her mouth open and hungry. "I can smell your blood and your heat. I am hungry and you smell divine, for I have not eaten in several days and I am weak."_

_"If this is weak, I hate to see what strong is." I smiled at her, thinking how convincing she was at playing her role. "I'm here for you, Beautiful."_

_"What is this 'Bootiful' you say to me? And how are you 'here' for me?" Her voice hissed out of her mouth unnaturally, but I was still thinking the costume was damn good._

_"I mean, I'm all yours, Beautiful. Anything you want is yours." I grinned at her and she smiled a cold, calculating smile. "I never realized you were such a great actress, Steph."_

_"Anything for me? Do you not have any demands of your own?" Her smile was eerie and right on target. I hadn't met such a convincing vampire since…never._

_"For starters," I began, "you could take off that cape and let me see if those shorts really do show a little cheek. I've been wondering that all night, Beautiful."_

_She gave me a cold smile that didn't quite hide the desire in the depths of her eyes and untied the cape from around her neck, using her tongue to wet her red, luscious lips, giving me a glimpse of her razor sharp incisors. "Is this what you wanted to see, Prey?" She turned around and showed me her delectable backside. _

_I groaned and caressed the underside of one perfect cheek. "I don't know about praying, Beautiful, but I'd be willing to send up some thanks to the Almighty for being able to stare at an ass like yours."_

_She turned around to face me, the cold desire growing in her eyes. "You like what you see, Prey?"_

_"Oh yes, Beautiful. This is what I was dreaming about."_

_"Good." She grabbed the front of my vest in the clutch of her hand and she pulled me behind her across the room to the black leather chaise lounge in front of the gothic style windows that were flanked by heavy burgundy velvet drapes. She pressed me down onto the chaise lounge and forced me onto my back._

_Taking my vest with both hands, she ripped it down the center, the threads holding the buttons were no match for her strength. It happened so fast that I was surprised, but it was hot so I went with it._

_She began trailing her long, pointy nails up and down my chest and I yelped when she pressed the tip of one into the center of my nipple. "Do you like pain, Prey?" She was speaking slowly, deliberately, enunciating each syllable she spoke._

_"Oh God, I'd like anything you'd want," I said, my words sounding thick on my tongue._

_"Ah," she grinned, her cold eyes glittering. "I love to inflict pain. So I tell you that you will like it, no?"_

_"Yes!" I shouted when she trailed her nails down my chest, digging in and breaking open my flesh._

_Astounded, I watched as she leaned forward and hungrily lapped up the blood seeping from the scratches in my chest. "Uh, Steph? You're taking this vampire thing a little too serious, don't you think?"_

_She looked up at me and I noticed her eyes were shining with an unnatural glow. "I always take being a vampire serious. It is my destiny!" She went back to licking my blood and I went from being turned on to being terrified in no time flat._

_I started to resist, but then once I'd started to think about it, I realized that what she was doing felt pretty good and I went from fearful to horny again in even less time. I leaned my head back, enjoying the feel of her tongue laving over my chest and down my abs._

_When I felt her hands at my waistband, I had a small moment of fear, but then I remembered that vampires and sex went together hand in hand. I might be selling my soul to this devil, but at least she'd make it worth my while._

_With a roar, she gripped my waistband and split my cotton pirate pants down the center, completely tearing them from my body. If I'd thought I was turned on before, she had just revised my definition of what being turned on meant. She stared at my naked body, her eyes roaming up and down, stopping at my hard cock._

_With a pleasureful grin, she leaned down and stuck her long tongue out to lick the tip, teasing it with the barest whisper of a touch. I groaned and she licked again, this time pressing the tip of her tongue into the small slit at the head. She twisted and swirled her tongue around that spot, causing my hips to buck. With a feral gleam in her eye, she tipped her head up and looked at me. "I want to drink your cum."_

_"Oh my God..." I said in a hoarse voice. If she'd said the classic vampire line about drinking my blood, I wasn't sure what I would have done. As it was, I was a goner once those words left her lips._

_Satisfied that I would be a willing participant in her game, she stood and slowly unlaced her corset, allowing her breasts to spill out bit by bit until she pulled the stiff material away from her body. She did the same with the criss-crossed straps on either side of her hips until the shorts fell away and she stood before me naked and gleaming. I stared at the tiniest patch of soft brown hair between her legs and sat up to lean in and press my tongue to the spot where I knew she would find the most pleasure._

_She hissed and gave a small carnal growl at the contact and then grabbed my hair and snapped my head back, lowering her head to kiss me, licking the taste of herself off my tongue. If possible, I grew even harder as she kissed me. When she broke away and started trailing kisses along my jaw, I hesitated slightly, but then I figured rough vampire sex was still worth giving up my soul._

_She nibbled on my earlobe and then kissed her way down my neck until she reached my pulse point. I could feel her hesitate and arched my neck even more, giving her access if she wanted it. My heart was banging in my chest. I was thinking that this could be it._

_With a guttural moan, she began to lick my skin, right above the pulse point. She trailed her tongue up and down my jugular, moaning and pressing her body close to mine. Soon, the head of my cock was pressing in at her entrance and I forgot all about my neck and started concentrating that other part of my anatomy._

_"Take me and I will take you, Prey." Her words floated against my ear as a throaty whisper._

_With a yell of submission, I gripped her hips and pulled her down, hard, onto my cock, settling her weight on me until I was full hilt inside her. At the same moment I entered her, she bit into my neck, her lips latched onto my neck and her mouth sucked hungrily at the blood I could feel seeping out. I expected pain, but it was erotic pleasure coursing through my body. _

_She began moving her hips as her suction increased and at the exact moment I came, she did, yelling out, "Now I will have your soul!" I screamed out my release and my death in the same breath, feeling her muscles contracting around my very happy cock and watching the world slip away into darkness._

Hands were hitting my face, slapping me. I swiped at them, trying to get them to leave me alone, but they persisted.

Only one voice could wake me up out of a dead sleep and I heard it.

"Santos." Ranger's voice was the epitome of carefully controlled rage.

I cracked open my eyes and looked around. I was lying on the floor by the drink table, wondering what the hell happened. My eyes met Ranger's livid gaze and I began to get an idea of what might have transpired.

"My office," he spat, "now!"

Groaning, I stood up, accepting a hand from Bobby. My whole body still ached from all the sessions with Ranger. I had no idea what to expect when I entered his office, but I trudged in and closed the door behind me without making him ask.

"What is going on with you?" His nostrils were flaring with the effort it was taking him to keep calm. "You seem to have a fascination with my woman this week and I don't understand why? You know she is off limits."

"I know, man." I sat down in the guest chair by his desk and crossed a knee over my ankle.

"I know you're a partner in this business, but we can't keep going down this same path. You've really pushed the limits of my tolerance this week." He leaned forward over his desk, pressing his fists down onto the surface to support himself. "Now, tell me what the fuck is up with you."

I had nothing left to lose, so I just blurted out, "It's that damned lipstick!"

He stared at me, expressionless for a few seconds, and then blinked. "That new red lipstick she's been wearing?"

"Yes! It drives me wild. I can't get it out of my head!" I groaned, dropping my head into my hand.

"So, this is all because of some lipstick?"

"No, not just any lipstick. THAT lipstick! It's everywhere. She wears it all the time. Just…" I stood and started pacing out my frustration, "make her stop wearing the fucking stuff. I can't keep my mind straight around it!"

He gave a small bark of laughter. "Well, I can handle some lipstick torture, I guess. I was afraid that you were trying to move in on me." His expression turned steely then. "That would have been suicidal on your part."

"Never!" I backpedaled at his dark expression. "Don't get me wrong, she's totally hot, but she's my friend. You're my friend, my family." I shoved my hands into my pockets and faced him. "I'll go on vacation for two weeks, clear my head…Just, please, man, for all of our sakes. Please make her lose the lipstick."

He grinned and stuck out his hand. "It's a deal."

We shook hands and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could focus on Tahitian beauties. Hmm, maybe I could ask Steph to let me take that lipstick with me…

********** ********** **********

_A/N: This is the end of this story until Thanksgiving when you will all get to read another Merry Man adventure written by another Merry Mistress! Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. This has been so fun...now I'm off to dream about Lester love. :) Happy Halloween!_


	6. A Thanksgiving Tale Ch 6

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. We are using them expressly for our own entertainment._

_WARNING: Lester hasn't gotten any cleaner since the previous holiday. He is just as dirty-minded and obsessed as ever. Warning is for sexual content and language._

**A Thanksgiving Tale – Part One**

_Two weeks after the Halloween disaster Lester returns from Tahiti – ten days to Thanksgiving_

"Hey, Les," Tank shouted and slapped a meaty hand on Lester's shoulder. "Looking good, got laid a lot?"

Lester grinned back after he recovered from the heavy slap. "Yeah, I can certainly recommend those Tahitian beauties to put a smile on a man's face. All in all, I had a blast." A look of jealousy passed over Tank's face, but he hid it quickly.

Admiring the nice tan and relaxed stance of Lester, Bobby joined in, "Looks like that vacation was just what you needed, my friend. Good to have you back. We sure can use some more muscle to help out with the remodeling of the gym."

Lester's tan paled a little at the mention of the gym. His recent memories of his sessions with Ranger in the gym were none too pleasant. "I'm open for everything, guys," he said and plastered a smile on his face.

"Don't we know that," Tank snorted in mock disgust.

"Hey, I missed you guys," Lester said in defense.

"Liar," Bobby countered with a knowing grin. "0600 tomorrow it is. You can tell all your tales then."

"No friggin' way. My lips are sealed," Lester protested good-naturedly. One look at Bobby confirmed what he was afraid of. No way would those loons let him off the hook.

Tank's whole body shook with laughter when Lester heaved his tanned ass toward his apartment on four. Tank sure was looking forward to hearing detailed descriptions of those island beauties. He was due a vacation as well and he hadn't gotten a nice piece of pussy since Lula had refused to share him with four cats.

* * *

The next morning at 0600 sharp found several Rangemen rubbing their hands in eager appreciation. Lester's stories were legendary, a source of constant envy within the guys. With one exception: Ranger. Ranger had been taken off the market ever since he'd first laid eyes on the Bombshell, and since they'd tied the proverbial knot; in other words, had gotten together, all of them could breathe easier – the pressure of waiting for the two of them to give in to their feelings was gone. Ranger's control had only been tested a few times due to Lester's fall-outs, but that seemed to be over, too. No one knew exactly what had happened apart from Tank and he was keeping his mouth firmly shut.

Lester sauntered into the gym a couple of minutes past 0600, wearing a shit-eating grin and an ego the size of Texas. He took a brief sweep of the room, and realized that Ranger wasn't among the men. Relieved, his tan seemed to radiate and his ego doubled in size. He greeted each guy he hadn't seen after his return with a typical male handshake and a slap on the back.

"So, Les, you were gone 14 days, how many scores does that work out to?" Hal piped up, starting the interrogation.

Lester's grin widened, but he didn't elaborate, yet. He waited until a chorus of demands filled the air, and then silenced the voices with one hand, raising the other to count off his conquests. "There was Vainui, Moeata, Fareani, Nanihi and finally the sweetest of all. Man, could that girl kiss! And her lips fit just perfectly around my di—"

"You're such a pig, Santos," Tank cut Lester off, but his words didn't hold any heat. He slapped his hands together, drawing the attention of the group of excited guys hanging onto Lester's very words. "We've got work to do, so let's get started!"

The guys scattered, leaving a pouting Lester behind. "You just had to ruin this, didn't you?"

"This is what you get paid for, not for sharing sex stories. You can talk to all of them later," Tank replied, and with a weighty arm sweeping across the room, indicated the heavy torture machines that needed to be moved elsewhere.

Lester couldn't leave it be. "Still, I'd have liked—"

"You want me to get Ranger to confirm the order?" Tank interrupted again, his patience wearing thin.

Lester gave a slight shudder and strolled after the others without a witty retort. He didn't feel particularly inclined to be in close proximity with the boss yet; avoidance worked so much better.

* * *

Two hours later, Ella came in carrying a large tray of homemade cookies and brownies. "Thought you guys could use a break." She set the tray down on one of the weight benches, stepping back out of the way when several muscular arms reached around her to grab up the goodies. "Welcome home, Lester! And I'm guessing from that deep tan you're sporting, you had a wonderful time." She smiled and gave him a wink.

"Thanks, Ella and yes, I had a wonderful time." Lester gave her a kiss on the cheek before shoving an entire brownie in his mouth.

"I plan on bringing lunch down in a couple of hours, is that okay?" Ella asked Tank and laughed when all he could do was nod his head because his mouth was so full.

Lester lowered his ass to sit on one of the treadmills to munch on the handful of cookies he'd wrestled away from Ram. His mood improved with each bite. It felt good to take a break, heaving the massive equipment around the gym wasn't his idea of fun; especially after all the fun in the sun he'd had the past two weeks. A wistful longing built up in his chest when he recalled sweet Tehani and he realized that he missed being with her. The bittersweet memory faded as soon as a cluster of guys settled around him.

"Spill it man, we want details," Cal demanded.

This time, Lester wasn't so forthcoming with details of his vacation; the memory of Tehani had shaken him a little. He entertained his coworkers with descriptions of the lifestyle in Tahiti, the drinks he'd enjoyed and the exotic food he'd tried out. He looked around at this captive audience and caught the looks of confusion on their faces. These were not the kind of details these guys were hoping to hear. He sighed and regaled them with descriptions of how beautiful the women looked in their traditional colorful sarongs, and when he began to share the details of the minimal amount of beachwear they wore, every guy started to drool with envy.

"Time to get off your asses and get back to work," Tank ordered, obviously enjoying his role as slave driver.

Everyone groaned in protest, but headed back to their assigned tasks. Lester didn't linger, didn't even join in the collective groan; for once, he even bit back a retort.

Shifting around the heavy equipment continued, along with replacing the older machines with updated versions. Even the mats were being replaced with fancy, more colorful ones that looked like they would absorb more of the shock a man's body felt when it hit the floor. Lester felt a wave of apprehension flow through his body when he looked at them, but he tamped it down and increased his efforts of moving equipment hoping to quiet his thoughts.

Ella's cart held two levels, crowded with bowls of steaming soup and freshly baked bread. The smell alone drew everyone close, including Lester. He got a bowl and a couple of slices of bread and decided to test-sit the new mats. No bad memories awaiting there, right?

His butt resting on one, his back comfortably placed against a pillar, Lester inhaled the delicious soup. For once, he was left alone; the other guys enjoying their food on similar spots scattered around the gym. For the first time after his return, he felt relaxed when he soaked up the remaining drops of soup with the yummy bread. His eyes closed in bliss at the taste, and then his vision conjured up the naked body of Tehani. Just a brief shut-eye to get rid of the jetlag his body was suffering from…

_His dream-like vision of Tehani blurred into a very vivid image of the one and only famous Stephanie Plum. She was sitting in his lap, her_ _lithe body pressing him down on the foamy material. She wore a deep red colored bikini bottom that resembled a string of threads and in place of the usual top her breasts were bare except for two small diamond-shaped pieces of fabric that barely hid her nipples. It also matched the lipstick she wore, better known as his downfall. Her legs rested on either side of his legs, her hips undulating atop him. _

_Like a band of steel, Lester's erection popped up, tenting in the juncture of her thighs. She smiled at the feel of his immediate reaction, her lips gleaming like a beacon of light. Then she twisted his t-shirt in her hands. He was more than just surprised when the material ripped open after a forceful tug, revealing his very nice hairless chest._

"_I've missed you, Les," Stephanie purred while her delicate fingers latched onto his nipples. Lester's cock twitched excitedly at the touch._

_Never missing a beat in twisting his erect nipples she asked, "Missed me, too?"_

"_All I could think about was you, Steph," he groaned, the memory of dark-skinned girls vanishing into nothingness._

"_Good boy." She leaned forward and took one nipple between her teeth, her own nipples brushing his abdomen. _

"_Baby, you're killing me here," Lester ground out when she gave the other nipple the same treatment._

"_Just getting started." She released a wicked smile and reached behind her, breasts swaying nicely with the movement. A small bottle appeared in her hand which she opened and drizzled an amount of drops on his washboard abs. She took her time spreading the liquid upon his skin, careful to cover every inch of delicious brown skin from his throat to the waistband of his sweatpants, adding more when needed. _

_Lester made appreciative noises throughout the process and wished nothing more than touching her. But he somehow knew it was Steph's show and he had to bide his time._

_Stephanie tugged on his waistband. "Oh, these have to go, wouldn't want to ruin them with oil, would we?" she rose up on her knees and worked his sweatpants and pulled them off, leaving him dressed in only his boxers._

_Lester gave a startled groan when she settled back on his lap, his throbbing erection now trapped alongside her pussy. Even through the thin layer of fabric still separating them, he could feel how dripping wet her pussy was. She began to massage the oil into his skin, moving her fingers with skillful motions until she'd kneaded every millimeter of his front. Leaning down, she rubbed her naked tummy across his oiled skin, and then rose a little so that her breasts dangled before his eyes. _

"_May I touch you?" Lester wasn't above begging at this point. He'd been a good boy and hadn't moved an inch, unless one considered the countless twitches of his cock. _

_She nodded and held her poised position. He didn't waste a second. His hands palmed each luscious breast, caressing with abandon and haste, afraid he'd be stopped before he could give each one the proper attention they deserved. He pulled one red covered nipple in his mouth and was surprised that it tasted sweet; he sucked on it until it came off – it was indeed candy. He switched to the other nipple, licking off the sweetness with an eager tongue while he fondled the twin. Stephanie was moaning above him, clearly appreciating his efforts._

"_Time to find out my other secret, isn't it?" With a seductive smile, she pulled away, returning to undulating her crotch on top of his twitching cock._

_By now Lester was incredibly hard and couldn't wait to bury his straining shaft deep in her drenched pussy. But he was also interested in her second secret. She bent down, her glorious hair falling around her head and tickling his tummy. She nuzzled his abs, placed kisses all over his torso, coming dangerously close to his cock, wet with pre-cum, several times with her enthusiastic tongue and then it happened: while she slid her hips forward the head of his cock popped out over the waistband of his boxers._

"_Oh, you bad boy," Stephanie giggled and gave the tip a loving nip. _

_Lester shuddered at the touch, feeling his control slip. Not caring anymore that he'd promised not to lay a hand on her, he lifted her off his lap and placed her butt on his chest, her barely covered pussy right in front of his mouth. Up close, the intertwining strings of the bottom of her bikini resembled strands of licorice that snaked around her hips and between her thighs. Jesus, how sexy was that? Hearing no complaints from Stephanie, he decided to explore. With a single finger, he sneaked through the strings and slipped it along her slit. He'd been so right: she was wet beyond imagination and his touch triggered a delighted gasp from her lips. He explored a little further, and upon finding her pussy completely hairless he shuddered once more. _

_His finger found the way into her wet heat; he pushed it deep between her tight walls and withdrew, repeating the motion several times until he added another digit. Stephanie's moans grew louder and she cradled his head, pulling him closer. The movement brought his tongue into reach, just what he was waiting for. He licked her clit with fervent zeal while he continued finger-fucking her pussy._

_He sucked the tiny bud between his teeth at some point, licking with his tongue hard and quick until Stephanie came apart. Her cries of passion filled his ears with music and the juicy cream she released during her climax was nectar on his tongue. _

"_I'm going to have you now, Baby," Lester stated matter-of-factly._

"_Yes, yes, yes!" She whimpered when he pulled out his fingers._

_Lightning fast she slid down his body, pulling his boxers down with her and settled his shaft at the entrance of her pussy. With a not so steady hand and almost out of his mind with need, he helped her guide his cock inside her. In one swift motion, he slipped between her walls. She was heaven. She was divine revelation. She was solace. She was passion. She was temptation. She was his addiction. All at once. The heady feelings ripping through his body brought Lester to his literal knees. He took a moment to savor the connection once he was embedded in her heat. Stephanie's eyes were closed; her breathing labored and her skin glowed with passion and utter contentment. And he hadn't even moved yet!_

_Once he did, little mewling sounds escaped her lips, and when he increased the speed, her moans matched his pants, each in joy and excitement. He thrust into her like there was no tomorrow, gripping her hips tight and when he pulled her head to him; he kissed her mouth with a fervor he hadn't experienced before. Her tongue matched his, mimicking the movements of their lower bodies. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, the temptation too strong to hold out. _

_With a guttural groan, he splashed his sperm into her, feeling at the same time her inner muscles grip his shaft in a firm embrace when she exploded. He yelled her name, she yelled his. A perfect reunion._

"_Jesus, Steph, you absolutely killed me here."_

"That pleasure is going to be all mine," a hard, infuriated voice uttered through clenched teeth.

Shocked, Lester opened his eyes and then wished he hadn't when he realized the gym was empty and he was humping Ranger's thigh. The dark threatening look on Range's face caused Lester's dick to shrivel and his balls to run for cover.

"I was… daydreaming," he said, knowing the truth sounded like a lame excuse.

"We had a fucking deal, Santos!" Ranger barked.

"She wore it…" Lester tried to explain, but he knew arguing his case was in vain.

"Since your ass is already acquainted with the new mats, maybe we should continue this in the morning at 0400?" Ranger's face twisted in a feral smirk and Lester knew his doom was close.

TBC


	7. All Hail Hal Ch 7

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment._

_A/N: This is a Hal one-shot, we couldn't resist it. We're very sorry about missing Christmas, but since our little corner of the world seems to be experiencing snow/cold, we thought this would be a good substitute. We hope you enjoy!_

_**WARNING: Words used that may be offensive to some of you. Please don't be too mad at Hal, he thinks like a guy and we didn't filter his thoughts.**_

*RS*RS*RS*RS*

I drove slowly along the road, my full attention on the task at hand. The weather had taken a turn for the worse since I'd started my trip with temperatures dropping into negative digits. It was snowing; the big, white flakes falling faster than the windshield wipers could swipe them off the glass. Visibility was at an all time low and lessening with every foot the Escalade covered. I was guessing my speed to be close to 5 mph, but I didn't dare risk a glance at the speedometer, my main objective was to keep the big vehicle on the road. My original objective had been to rescue Stephanie Plum and deliver her safe and sound into the loving arms of her fiancé, who happened to be my boss, Ricardo Carlos Manoso, aka Ranger.

The heater was blasting out hot air to warm up her frigid body and I shivered when I felt a trickle of sweat begin a slow and tortuous trail down the middle of my back, but as long as she was still shivering, the heat would continue to blow out at full power. I'd been in worse conditions in the Army when I'd gone for a tour in Iraq and again in Afghanistan. I rolled my shoulders and tightened my grip on the wheel – I could handle the heat.

Two hours ago, before the storm started, Stephanie had called the control room to say that she'd gone out to pick up a skip outside of Trenton and her little POS, a Chevrolet Chevette of all things, had died on her in the middle of nowhere. Ranger, Tank, and Lester had been out taking down a high bond skip and couldn't be reached, so I volunteered to go and get her. Time was of the essence with a storm on the way, because without engine power, the car couldn't produce heat and without heat, she would soon be on the verge of hypothermia.

The storm had just begun when I left, but it didn't take it long to hit full force. I rushed all the way to her in an attempt to beat the nasty weather we were expecting. Thankfully, I was able to drive sixty miles per hour and it only took me thirty minutes to reach her. By the time I arrived, the storm was definitely full force with fierce wind, blinding snow, and high drifts blowing across the road. I spotted her car sitting precariously close to the edge of the road, the emergency flashers sending out weak signals. The small dark car was already covered in about seven inches of snow and I was sure that it was cold as hell inside.

I felt my heart skip a beat when I approached her door seeing her closed eyes and the strange blue tinge of her lips. If it hadn't been for her chattering teeth, I would have thought she was dead.

The first thing I was going to do when we got back to Trenton was to put together an emergency snow kit for her: kitty litter, flashlight, a candle and lighter, energy bars, flares, a thermal blanket, spare gloves, and a hat. I swear to God, the woman was more concerned with her appearance than staying warm. The only thing she had on that made any sense was a heavy down parka. I shook my head as I lifted her out of her car and into the front seat of the Escalade, tucking a thermal blanket around the lower half of her body. She had on a pair of jeans, black leather calf high boots with spiked heels, no gloves that I could see and nothing on her head except the parka hood. The strange blue color of her lips was due to the cold and to the fact that she was wearing the lipstick that Lester wouldn't shut up his damn mouth about. Okay, I had to admit that it looked freaking hot on her full, pouty lips, but still…nothing was worth Ranger's wrath.

"How are you doing, Steph?"

"Fr-freezing!" She sputtered. I couldn't believe that even after ninety minutes in front of the heater at full blast, she was still so cold. Something seemed off about it, but I had too much on my mind with the road conditions to adequately assess her condition.

"Okay, just keep the coat on and the blanket wrapped around your legs." I could hear the tightness in my voice. Trying to keep a big, lumbering vehicle on a road I couldn't see was straining my nerves to the snapping point.

"N-no, I'll be fine. I was just so c-cold." I nodded in response, my attention riveted on the sea of white in front of me. I knew we had to be close to Trenton, but the snow was so thick I couldn't even see the city lights.

I kept our pace slow and steady, searching for any kind of landmark for a clue to give me an indication of how close we were to reaching Trenton. A strong gust of wind rocked the heavy SUV and I worked to keep it steady when, out of nowhere, a deer darted from the line of trees to the right. I braked, trying to avoid hitting the animal and felt the truck skid sideways. I whipped the wheel left, then right, then left again to right the SUV on the road and uttered out a loud curse when I felt the back wheel teeter and then slide into a deep ditch off the shoulder. _Damn!_ I hadn't realized how disoriented I'd become driving in the full effects of a whiteout. I must have been driving on the shoulder, not realizing that snowdrifts had camouflaged and filled the ditch, creating a false extension to the driving surface.

Hoping we wouldn't turn onto our side as the vehicle continued to slide into the ditch, I held the wheel tight, fighting to keep the wheels from angling us further down, when the other rear tire followed its mate into the deep gouge.

A heavy quiet surrounded us when the car finally came to a stop, two wheels resting on the bank and two in the ditch. I leaned my head back against the headrest and released a heavy sigh in resignation. The only way out of this mess was to be towed…and there would surely be no tow trucks out in this weather at this time of night. Beside me, I heard a soft whimper and turned my head to look at Stephanie. She had her legs drawn up against her chest, her arms hugged around them, and her forehead resting on her knees.

"Please t-tell me that we're n-not in a d-ditch."

"Okay, I won't tell you."

She sighed and sniffled, a big, wet tear sliding down her cheek. _Shit._ I wasn't good at dealing with emotional females, but even I knew that she needed some reassurance. Sliding my arm around her shoulders, I unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her into my arms, hoping that our combined body heat would keep us warm longer before I had to dig into the emergency kit in the back seat, but I could already feel the cold seeping in now that the heater was off.

She tucked her face into my neck and I knew instantly why she was so cold. "Bomber, you have a fever. Were you sick when you went out tonight?" The scent of her hair reached my nostrils and made me groan inwardly. Now, not only was she wearing 'The Curse', as we'd started to call the smooth red sex in a tube, but, sick or not, she smelled wonderful, all musky and sexy. I pushed the dangerous thoughts of Stephanie Plum from my mind and raised a hand up to feel her forehead. God, she was burning up.

She opened her mouth against my neck to draw in a couple of breaths and I closed my eyes against the sensation. _Not going there._ "Well, I was feeling tired all day, but thought that it was from lack of sleep…"

I could put the rest together in my head. She'd driven out of town to a damn nightclub looking for her skip, struck out, and then decided to drive home in a full snowstorm. Her car dying on her, leaving her without any heat source, probably created the perfect condition for her already weakened body to give in to the virus it had been attempting to fight off. Now, instead of a cold and grumpy Stephanie Plum, which I was surprised to realize would have been preferable, I had a very ill Stephanie Plum on my hands.

First things first, though. I needed to call the control room to let them know what happened and get someone out here to help us. I opened my cell phone and cursed ten different ways when I saw that I had no bars of service. Damn, not only had the weather cut off our visibility, but our communications as well. I could only hope that transmitter was still working and the control room could hear what had happened to us. Our only hope of them finding us in this weather was the tracking device on the vehicle if it was still able to send a strong signal that they could follow to our location.

"Okay. First, I'm going to insist you remove your coat for a little while. It's still warm in here even though the engine isn't running and I want to make sure your temp goes down. I'm going to give you some Ibuprofen, which will help, too. Your fever has got to be over a hundred. If I were to guess, you're more at the 102 or 103 degree range." I got another whimper from her at my request and a sound of protest. "I know you _feel_ cold, but we need to cool you off."

"Okay," she whispered, shivers racking her body.

Shaking my head, I opened the glove box and pulled out the first aid kit, tugged a package of Ibuprofen out of its storage slot, and grabbed a bottle of water from the emergency kit in the back seat. I opened the water and handed it to her, then tore open the package and dumped the two pills into the palm of her hand. "Take these."

She complied without arguing, which was a small miracle in itself. I reached over and began to unzip her coat and to help her remove it. Good God, the scent that floated up from her neck almost sent me into a full body spasm. She always smelled so damn good and now she was sitting right next to me with those lips, that hair, and now her perfume…it was going to be a long night.

I turned around in my seat so I could dig through the emergency kit and pulled out a jar with a lid on it and rolled my eyes. For the love of God! It was a soy candle, Bvlgari scented. Shit, Ranger was a health nut even with fucking home goods. When the remaining heat was gone, I would light it and the heat it produced would be enough to keep us warm enough not to freeze to death. It may not be comfortable, but we'd stay alive. The candle would last for four hours, I'd have to think of something else after that, but I would almost bet my left nut that Ranger would find a way to best Mother Nature and come to the rescue before that.

I went back to my search and found the energy bars and was relieved that there were four of them. I knew about Stephanie's appetite and was glad there were extra. I reached into the kit and found the flares, there were four of them. I grabbed two and turned around, zipping up my parka.

"Where are you going?" Her eyes were wide like those of the startled doe I'd narrowly missed running over earlier and I was amazed at how, even sick, she could be so endearing.

Shaking my head to knock that thought out of it, I gave her an encouraging smile. "I need to light a couple of flairs and set them out in front of the Escalade just in case there is someone else foolish enough to be out in this weather, they'll see us and hopefully not hit us and maybe even stop to help. " As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Tears filled her eyes and she began to cry.

In a normal situation, I'm not stupid. I know that women get upset when they think you're voicing your secret opinion about them, but Stephanie wasn't much of a crier under most circumstances. I suspected she was ultra sensitive because she didn't feel well.

"Sorry, Steph. I didn't mean you. I meant people who had no reason to be out in the storm. You didn't have a choice, you had to get back to Trenton." She nodded and swallowed, her delicate throat fluttering from the action. I wondered if her neck tasted as creamy and sweet as it smelled…and then mentally wished I could gouge my eyes out. "I won't be long." Good, freezing cold air was just what I needed.

When I got back inside, my eyelashes had ice crusted on them and I was covered in snow from head to toe. I'd tried to beat as much off as possible before getting in, but it was a hopeless battle. Stephanie had pulled the parka over her to ward off the cold that blew in from outside when I'd opened the door. I removed my wet coat as carefully as I could so I didn't get snow and water all over the seat because I didn't want to cause her anymore discomfort by getting her wet.

I smiled at her again and she returned my smile with a slightly dazed look. I held my arm out in an open invitation and she accepted, sliding into my arms and cuddling her hot little body up against mine. I was relieved to feel that she was cooler than she had been before I'd gone out, but I had a horrible feeling that I'd just signed my own death warrant by getting so close to her again. There wasn't a man at Rangeman who was able to resist her charms.

I lit the candle and set it on the dashboard, then tugged the parka away from her, earning a slight noise of protest that sounded like a moan and I felt myself go harder than granite. Now I had the added problem of trying not to make a complete fool of myself. "Shh, just try to get some sleep. You need it. I'll wake you if I need to."

She sniffed the air and looked at me with an odd expression on her face. "I smell…Ranger."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her and nodded. "Uh, yeah. That candle is the same stuff he uses in the shower." I swear to God, the minute I said that her temperature spiked again…and it wasn't from her illness.

She nodded and gave a small sigh, settling her hip against my now-aching cock and snuggling her shoulders in under my arm. It only took a few moments for her to drift off and I wish I could say that my larger than average 'problem' went away, too, but it seemed to only get worse. _Christ, I need to get laid._

When her breathing was even, I leaned my head back to rest my eyes for a moment. I needed to collect my thoughts before any other potentially deadly action happened tonight.

_I was sitting in the middle of an igloo in a low chair centered on a heavy tarp meditating to forget the erotic images and tantalizing smells of Stephanie Plum when I suddenly felt a gust of cold wind hitting me full force in the face. The flap covering the doorway had opened and a brown-clad being came in and then stood in front of me. I couldn't tell who it was by looks, but when her scent hit my nostrils, I knew it was the object of my fantasies._

_I opened my eyes to see her standing there in a long, lined leather coat with fur along the lapels in the front and a matching hat on her head. She had on some big, black rubber boots, probably to keep her feet from getting wet. "Whew!" She shouted. "This is the coolest place ever!" Her hands moved up to begin working on a button at the top of her coat._

_I watched, mesmerized, as she started working on the second button. It was definitely warm in the igloo, so taking off the coat made sense. I even had a fire going in a spit in the center of the floor. She saw me looking at her and got a sly grin on her face. "Hey, Hal. Want to play a game?"_

"_I'm not really a 'game' person," I started to say when she walked over and pressed her index finger to my lips. "Shh, Hal. Let's play a game."_

_Unable to think, I nodded and caressed her entire body with my eyes as she finished unbuttoning the coat with her nimble fingers. "Okay. How about we pretend that I'm a little snow pixie and you're the Ice King, King Hal, and my job is to keep you cool sitting there next to that big, hot fire." She'd raised her voice a bit so that she sounded like a sex kitten, or a Playboy Bunny, either way it was freaking hot._

_I gulped. "Okay."_

_She dropped the coat and I nearly passed out from excitement and shock all at once. Her top, if you could call it that, it was more like a really, really big necklace that just happened to cover her breasts. It consisted of fifty or so thin strands of silver byzantine chain. They started at her neck, gathered together in a band as a choker, meeting in a complicated twist of some sort at the center front, then coming down the center of her chest and meeting up in another twist just below the middle of her collarbones. From there, the band hung down, loose, veering off to the side just enough to cover one breast, wrapping around her back and curving up to cover her other breast in the same fashion before ending in the lower twist. _

_The effect was astounding and took my breath away. She took a step toward me and I saw that her rosy nipples played peek-a-boo through the strands as they swayed and separated across her chest with every advancing step she took..._Ohhhhh my God_. A few thin strands stretched from the lower twist down the center of her body to meet up with a smaller twist at the apex of her thighs that covered next to nothing. Her bottoms consisted of about half the width of the strands on her top, pulled together into a band wrapping around her waist to connect with the twist right above her pussy, a pussy I couldn't wait to get my tongue into._

_She shot me an evil grin when she noticed I was staring, then turned around so that I could see that there was another twist just at the point where the crack of her wet dream of an ass began. Running down from that center twist were, again, about half the strands that were gathered around her trim hips. When she bent over slightly, pushing her ass out toward me so I could get a better view, I took a good look at her back door and, if I thought I was in agony before, now my damn cock was actually trying to leave my body to get to her…bringing about the kind of pain that hurts so good you don't want it to stop._

_Grinning, she turned back around and I noticed that the few strands that covered her slit were loose and separated with her movement just like the ones covering her breasts. Each little shift of her body gave me a glimpse of her beautiful lips. I wanted to stroke my fingers along them, dip them inside and test to see if she was as wet as I was hard._

_She bent down again, causing her breasts to surge toward her face and the chains to fall away and her pink nipples, hard and blushed with arousal, peeked out beneath the strands to lock eyes with me. I couldn't look away. Bombs could go off, buildings could crumble, the fucking sun could explode and I wouldn't be able to look away from those perfectly shaped points._

_From the corner of my eye, I saw her reach inside her coat and pulled out a silver hair brush with white bristles. She placed the slender fingers of her other hand under my chin and raised my attention to her face. I watched her pulled the brush through her hair, her erotic flesh flashing me through the strands every time her arm made a pass. My mouth was dry, my dick was hard, my palms were sweaty, and I was almost over the edge. I wondered how long I could keep from throwing her to the floor and fucking her like a damned dog. Hell, I've never been so inconsiderate of a woman's needs before. I pride myself on being a great lover, always taking care of the woman first. My motto, even if it is a little crass, is: No creamin' till she's screamin'. Hey, it works._

_But this was beyond my wildest experience and her body was magic, pure, raw, and alluring. I was enchanted beyond my wits and I wanted, no needed, to fuck. I felt like a dog trapped in a pen with a bitch in heat, wild, rough, and out of my mind with desire._

_She brought her other arm up and twisted her hair up into a little bun and stuck a pair of silver ice picks through it to hold it secure. It was a nice touch. If there's one thing Stephanie Plum doesn't do, it's accessorizing halfway. The woman was an all out snow pixie, she was like Tinkerbelle…um, with brown hair, not wearing green, and…okay, she wasn't at all like Tinkerbelle. Damn, I needed a name for her. Snowybelle was too obvious. Silverbelle could work since she had so much goddamned silver on her body, but that just didn't suit her, either. I smiled. Sexybelle. Damn, that was her!_

_She flashed me a mischievous smile and dropped the brush down onto her coat. "Time to begin."_

_I nodded and returned her smile and then she turned around and bent over again, positioning her delicious ass mere inches from my face. I could smell her arousal and looked at her lips which were so wet with the chain tightened and stretched in between, it looked like they were sucking on it. Holy Mother of God! Without realizing it, I began to lean forward, meaning to lick them and taste her juices when her voice stopped me cold. "If you touch me, I'm leaving."_

_I snapped out of my stupor and sat back with an involuntary groan. Her shapely hands reached down to unzip her big rubber boots and she stepped out of them, revealing high-heeled, silver strappy sandals. On the top of each foot was a matching tattoo of a pale ice blue snowflake and in the center of each was a dermal anchor in the shape of a snowflake crusted with diamonds. Damn, those were my favorite piercings, but having them on that point in the foot was painful. She was my hero for taking extreme measures to look hot beyond hot._

_I looked up at her and she was smiling at my reaction. It was then that I noticed that she had pale ice blue shimmer eye shadow on her eyes that spread out down her cheeks in a curve, coming to a point mid-cheek, and stretched out to the side of her eyes in a curly pattern. She had on black mascara and the red voodoo lipstick applied to her beautiful mouth. I thought of it as voodoo because it took over a man's mind and did things to his body, like voodoo._

"_King Hal," she said, smiling into my eyes. "You were supposed to be cooling off…not heating up."_

"_Not possible with you in the room, Sexybelle."_

_She laughed, a musical, tinkling laugh and smiled at me. "Sexybelle?"_

"_Well, you don't look like Tinkerbelle."_

"_Ah. Well, let me see if I can cool you off." She leaned forward and began to blow gently on my ear. Her scent was swirling around my head and my body was being consumed by need for her. I felt her tongue trace the shell of my ear and almost leapt out of my seat and groaned when she blew on the spot. "Is that cooling you off?"_

"_No," I squeezed out through my teeth. Holy fuck, now she was taking my clothes off. She tugged my shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor behind her. Then she grabbed my hand and tugged me to my feet, unbuckling my belt, unsnapping my jeans and then unzipping them. _

_She shot me a look of innocence. "I need to check your temperature and see if you're too hot." Then she slid her hand into the front of my jeans and wrapped her hand around my thick cock. I raised my hands to her shoulders to steady myself and she murmured, "No touching, King Hal. Pixies are frail, you might break me."_

"_You're going to break me!" I growled, but I released her nonetheless._

_She stroked her hand up and down along my hard shaft, trailing her fingers lightly over my sensitive tip and then smoothed her hand back down to the base, caressing my balls playfully. I dropped my head backwards and realized if she stroked me any longer, I would cum all over her hands, I was that far-gone._

_She pulled her hand from my jeans just as quick as it had gone in and then I felt my jeans being shoved down to my ankles. I was never so glad to be barefoot as I was at that moment. I felt her cheek caress my cock as she knelt down to lift my foot and slip off my jeans and repeat the process with the other._

_When she stood, the vixen licked her hot, wet tongue up the underside of my shaft, briefly kissing my tip, as she stood. The last ounce of my control gone, I gripped her upper arms in my hands and leaned forward. "The king is seriously displeased with your teasing."_

_She had a mock look of fear on her face. "Oh dear! How can I make it up to your Halness."_

_My lips twitched. She was a real minx. "I demand recompense for your offense."_

"_And what recompense would your Halness demand?"_

"_You."_

_She grinned and pushed me down into my chair and straddled my knees, keeping the rest of her body from touching me. I started salivating when I saw her perfectly shaped pussy open before me, the strands draping over her flesh, separated and coated in her juices; juices that were now dripping onto the inner side of my knees._

_I moved to trail a finger over her lips when she gripped my wrist and shook her head slightly. "Just let me take care of you, Sire."_

_Oh shit. I was going to hate it until she made me love it. I moved my hand back and lowered both to my sides. As I watched, she trailed her index finger along the chain down the center of her body and over the twist that had slipped down when she sat and now obscured her clit from my view. She slid the finger along the chains, caressing them, and subsequently herself, and moaning slightly. Her other hand went up to her breast, teasing and tugging on her nipple and bringing it out of hiding from behind the strands._

_The tip of her finger through the chains between her lips and then her whole finger disappeared, centimeter by centimeter, until it was completely buried right where I wanted to be. She then began to pull it out agonizingly slow and I felt like whimpering when I saw how glistening wet it was with her juices._

_As if she sensed my desperation, she brought her finger up to my lips and traced the outline with her finger, leaving behind a thin coating of her nectar. The smell reached my nostrils and I breathed in her light, musky scent. She then traced my lips with her finger and slipped it into my mouth. I closed my eyes at her taste. It was intoxicating, better than any drug I'd tried as a teenager. She tasted of woman, clean and heady, with a slight spicy aftertaste that I struggled to pinpoint._

_She removed her finger and repeated the motion, but then slid her finger into her mouth to taste her own juices as I watched, emitting a light groan. She pulled her finger out of her mouth with a pop and studied me for a few seconds before saying, "Okay, your Halness. You can touch me with ONE finger only."_

_Ecstatic at getting to explore her body, I raised my index finger in front of her to show the finger I chose and then reached forward to trace my finger over her protruding nipple. She dropped her head back and moaned and I expanded my circle outward to include the areola. Then I licked my finger and repeated the whole process, ending with blowing cool air onto the wet flesh. _

_Her skin puckered and she arched her back to me in invitation. Without hesitation, I leaned forward and drew her nipple into my mouth, chains and all, and sucked, alternating between hard and gentle sucking like a man too long denied the pleasure of a woman's body. My tongue stroked over her softly rounded flesh and left it wet and straining. I pulled back slightly and blew cool air onto the wetness causing another low moan to escape her mouth._

_I captured her nipple between my teeth, scraping them over the roughened skin and she opened her mouth and let out a sharp wail of pleasure, bucking her hips in need and bringing her closer to my rock hard cock. I swear I was getting blue balls from the teasing. I was half in pleasure and half in pain, a pain that was increasing moment by moment._

"_Use your hand, you get a whole hand, your Halness," she gasped out in a raspy voice and I grinned. She hadn't noticed that I had added my mouth to the 'one finger only' rule. I took that to mean that soon she'd give in and we'd both be incredibly happy people._

_While I continued to suck and lick her breast, I reached my hand down to cup her sweet, saucy little cunt. Damn, I wanted to bury my face in it and kiss her senseless. I twitched my fingers enough to drive her insane and received a strangled feminine growl from her as a reward._

_I turned my hand around so the fingers were pointing up and pressed them firmly against her lips with the tip of my middle finger pressing against her clit through the chains. She was waxed bare and baby smooth and my hand caressed over the silky flesh, enjoying the feel of it._

_She pressed herself against my hand and buried her hands in my short, cropped hair, pulling my mouth tighter against her breast. I continued to massage her pussy lips, not touching between them, as I knew she wanted._

_I was completely in my element when she suddenly shoved me back and stood, walking around and around my chair, and I decided she was calming herself down. When she returned to my knees, she was more in control and I was more out of control. _

_Keeping her eyes locked on mine, she slid forward and tilted my cock down until just the tip touched her. We both moaned in pleasure and then she removed her hand from my cock, which was prevented from springing upward by her cleft. All I had to do was grip her hips and slide home, but I was also curious as to what she had planned._

_Stephanie started wiggling her hips slightly, making her hot, slick skin gently massage the head of my cock. Then she stood and turned around and straddled my lap, facing away from me, placing her hands on my knees she lend forward, still standing, and presented me with one very fine ass to nibble. I leaned forward and gently bit first one cheek, and then the other, wiping away the sting with my tongue._

_I dipped my thumb beneath the chains running down her ass crack and caressed the small, puckered hole there, moving it in a circular motion, barely touching the skin. She gave a light gasp and began to move her hips and then lowered herself until I felt the chains loosen from her skin and drape over the length of my cock. She slid her hips slowly forward and then back, making the chains caress up to my tip and then down to my base. They were cold, wet and sensual on my aroused, warm skin. _

_I moved my hands up her thighs to caress her ass and then back down, using my fingertips to tease and tantalize her skin. She released a deep moan and then lowered herself more to take my cock lengthwise between her lips, shrouding it with the chains, to slide them back and forth along my length, driving me wild. If she leaned forward just a fraction, I could tip my cock up and enter her when she slid back._

_I watched her ass as it moved with her motion, silently begging her to lean forward. When I was on the verge of begging, she leaned forward, spreading the chains apart with her fingers and slid back, taking me deep inside her. Oh fuck, it was heaven. It was like sliding into molten silk that squeezed and caressed all at once. I could feel the chains draping down the sides of my balls and decided then and there that I loved her crazy little outfit. After a minute, she slid forward, disconnecting her pussy from my cock, and resumed teasing it by sliding it through her lips again._

"_Are you cold, yet, Your Halness?" I could hear the laughter in her voice, mingled with desire._

_I could only grunt, my hands fisted onto her hips._

"_What do you need?"_

_I grunted again, pressing my cock harder against her teasing pussy. She laughed, actually laughed, at me and then raised her legs up, hooking her heels on the bars on the side of my chair. I held my breath, hoping she would end my suffering. Tossing a naughty look back at me, she leaned forward and bent down, gripping my ankles with her hands and slid back, waiting for me to part her chains for her, and then taking my cock inside her again. I felt her legs tighten as she pushed away against the bars with her feet, sliding up to my tip, and then forcefully back again, impaling herself on me, the chains slapping my scrotum with the quick movement._

_We both groaned and I held her hips, steadying her as she moved forward and back, allowing her pussy to sheathe and unsheathe me, as if it were enjoying the feast. "Oh, King Hal, mmmm," she moaned, pressing her breasts against my knees and squeezing her inner muscles tight around my cock, drawing a gratified gasp from my mouth. "You have such an impressive…scepter. Allow me to use it for a while?" She continued moving, the chains continued slapping, and I groaned as she suddenly slammed hard backwards onto my 'scepter', causing me the most pleasurable pain._

"_It is yours to use as you please, little pixie." I don't know where I got the strength to speak. She had stolen my mind and my breath with her hot, fucking body, emphasis on the fucking. Damn, I was going to be reduced to nothingness when she was done with me._

"_Oh thank you, Sire. You won't be disappointed." Fucking A. She moved forward and slammed backwards again, stopping and leaning upwards, spreading my legs and leaning down between them, hooking her arms around my calves and using them to ground herself. Once in position, she let fly and I swear I saw stars._

_She was moving so fast, fucking me, letting her pussy suck me off, that I wasn't prepared for the heaven I experienced when she exploded around me in a rush of hot, silky liquid and convulsions that massaged me over every square inch of my dick. Groaning in a loud voice, I gripped her hips and slowed her down, not allowing her to move too fast through her pleasure. She moaned loud enough for it to echo throughout the little igloo and then let out a fierce scream as another orgasm hit her due to the slow, stroking movement of my cock deep inside her._

"_Oh God, Sexybelle. Oh my God," I ground out. Her quivering was almost violent as her passion overtook her once more and she screamed in ecstasy once again, exploding her hot cream all over me. It was my undoing and I lost it, tugging on her hips violently, forcing her to ride me faster, dragging her juicy, quivering cunt on and off my hard, enthusiastic erection until, with a loud roar, I shot my hot cum inside her, still tugging on her hips, using her pussy to milk out every last drop from inside me._

_When my cock finally stopped twitching, she stood, turning around to kneel before me and lick me clean. "Mmm, Your Haleness. I love the way we taste together." I was instantly hard again to my utter surprise and she moaned her delight, taking me deep into her mouth. I felt her relax her throat and take me even deeper, my head being squeezed and caressed by the back of her throat._

_She bobbed her head up and down, faster and faster, until I was at the brink. Right before I came, she stopped and stood up, straddling me and making use of the rungs on my chair again, spreading her chains and impaling herself on my cock, letting her full weight drop down onto my hips. Holy hell, I touched Glory Land with my cock and could feel my load building._

_She leaned forward and took my mouth in hers, riding me like I was a bucking bronco. I held her waist hard with my arms around it and then ripped my mouth from hers when I felt my orgasm on the brink so I could swear, "Holy fucking shit!" My words were apparently timed just right because an inhuman shriek left her mouth as her pussy clamped down on my cock, forcing me to follow her into the most mind numbing, soul stealing orgasm of my life. We both screamed together, fingers digging into flesh, arms holding tight, teeth biting anything they could find._

_It seemed like forever before we both stopped quivering and twitching. When we did, she gave a low, satisfied purr and said, "All hail Hal!" Then she started laughing in pure joy and satisfaction._

"_That was spectacular, Sexybelle."_

"Who's Sexybelle, Hal?"

I felt myself smile and said, "You are." Then I realized I'd been dreaming and my eyes popped open and I turned to look at her, practically panicking. "Uarda, short for Guenuarda." I held my breath, hoping she would buy it.

She wrinkled her nose and said, "That is a very strange name."

"Yeah, she's from Portugal. Hey, are you feeling better?" _Nice subject change, Hal_.

She smiled and I forced myself not to remember those lips and that lipstick stroking up and down my cock in my dream. "Yeah, the Ibuprofen helped. How are we going to get home, though? I think I need a warm bed and some hot tea."

I bit my lip to keep myself from groaning at the mention of a bed. "Oh…don't worry. I have a feeling Ranger will be along very soon now." _Thanks to the damn recording equipment in the vehicle_. Just then, I noticed bright headlights cutting through the storm, approaching us on the road and knew without a doubt who it was. I bit back a sigh and took a moment to appreciate my body without bruises and cuts on it. I had a feeling no matter how late it was when we finally got back to Haywood, I'd be up at 04 or 0500 hours on the mats with a pissed off Ranger.

The vehicle stopped in front of us and the flashers came on. Two large figures bundled up in black approached us.

"Ranger," Stephanie whispered in relief and grabbed her parka, shoving her arms into the sleeves and struggling with the zipper. Suddenly, her door whipped open and she was engulfed in two bands of black steel. After a moment, Ranger lifted her into his arms and pulled back, but not before giving me the death glare I was dreading.

My door opened and I turned to find Tank, standing there looking at me with a slight smirk on his face. "Got a message for you, Your _Halness_. Ranger says that since you're responsible for saving Stephanie's life, he's gonna let you sleep in. Mats tomorrow morning at 0900." Tank shook his head and started laughing. "Guenuarda? Shit, man. That's a terrible name."

I watched the big man walk off and gathered my things, resigning myself to the battered state I would be in come nine tomorrow morning. And it was worth it. Damned _lipstick_.


	8. Slippery When Wet Ch 8

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. I am using them expressly for my own entertainment._

_A/N: This is a Bobby one-shot by request. Please be warned if you aren't used to his wild ways…Bobby is a different sort of animal._

_**WARNING: As usual, there are words used that may be offensive, but we hope you enjoy the story anyway!**_

*RS*RS*RS*RS*

Seeing Ranger's face when Stephanie calls in distress is not a pretty sight. Normally, he's a pretty emotionless guy. But when it comes to Stephanie, his emotions rise close enough to the surface to catch a glimpse of what he's feeling. Like tonight. We were all working our shifts when she called the control room.

"Bomber alert, _Your Halness_," Lester joked when they saw the caller ID on the monitor.

"Shut the fuck up, Santos. How many times did you jiz yourself in front of the boss's woman?" Hal's question was quiet, but brought color to Lester's cheeks that was uncharacteristic of him.

"Shut up, all of you," Tank said from the doorway. "Pull it up on speaker, Hal."

"Rangeman, this is Hal," I'd listed to their bantering for over a week, ever since the blizzard that Stephanie and Hal had been caught in. Hal still had a black eye and a bruised jaw from the mat session with Ranger.

"Hal, it's Stephanie," as if we didn't already know it, "I need help."

We all straightened our backs, not only at her words, but at the tone of her voice. She sounded…strained, afraid, and on the verge of tears.

"Details." I watched as Hal started working his computer keyboard to pull up the aerial shot of the GPS reading coming from her car, heaven knows how far away from the car she'd been forced to chase her skip, but it was a start.

"I went to get Ed Milsap and he pulled a knife on me." Her words were so soft Hal automatically reached to increase the volume. Tank snapped into action, pulling on his heavy Kevlar lined jacket and I followed suit. Tank pointed a finger at me and then in the direction of Ranger's office. I cursed in three languages under my breath. I did not want to deliver this news to the boss solo. Lester and Hal had to stay with the monitors. "I tried to call Ranger, but he isn't answering."

Scratch that, I wouldn't have to deliver the news solo. Tank would be going with me to notify the boss. If he wasn't answering Bomber's calls, it meant he was really busy or on an important call. It was an unspoken rule that Tank was the only one of us to deliver Bomber news of this level to Ranger. Plus, he was the only one capable of knocking the boss out with one punch if the need came about. Stephanie continued her story, "Anyway, he chased me for a few blocks. I got away, but I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. I think he's still looking for me and I've got to get out of here."

A collective chorus of 'shit' was muttered by every man in the room.

"Where are you, Steph?" Tank called out as he zipped up his jacket.

"In an alley, off Honor…and Stark." Tank and I grimaced at each other. Ranger wasn't going to like this. Correction, Ranger would go ape shit when he heard about this. Hell, none of us liked what we were hearing. No wonder she hesitated on giving us the name of the second street.

"Okay, Bomber. We're coming. Hang tight and try to stay hidden." I said as I zipped up my jacket. "Call Tank's cell and keep talking to him. We're getting Ranger now."

"Thanks, Bobby." She disconnected the call and Tank and I stomped toward Ranger's office. We knew he was in there, but didn't know why he hadn't taken her call.

When we got to the door, Tank lifted his big, meaty fist and pounded on the heavy wood. We heard a muffled "Enter" and proceeded inside. Ranger was buried in computer work, oblivious to the world.

"Ranger?" Tank's voice held an angry note.

Ranger looked up at Tank with a scowl. "Care to address me in a different tone of voice?"

"Not unless you can tell me why you didn't answer Stephanie's call when she needed your help."

Ranger shot up out of his chair so fast, it crashed into the wall, leaving a dent in its wake. He grabbed his jacket, ever the observer, having noted that we were dressed to go out. "Report!" He shouted over his shoulder as he jogged down the hall.

"She got hurt trying to take down a skip, ankle, she's hiding from him now."

Ranger pulled out his phone and looked at the display. "My phone didn't ring. Have Lester call the company and find out why in the hell my service was interrupted. We pay them a shitload of money to ensure that our services are better than the standard…this is unacceptable."

"On it, Boss," I said, flipping open my cell phone, which was faster at this point than trekking back to the control room. Stephanie may or may not have that much time. Lester picked up on the first ring and I relayed Ranger's orders.

We shot out of the elevator and piled into Tank's SUV. Tank used his large body to edge Ranger out of the way and grabbed the driver's seat before Ranger could, earning himself a glare, but I was glad Ranger wasn't driving. He looked murderous with dark, brooding eyes, fists flexing and unflexing, and shoulders set in tense determination.

"Haul ass, Tank. Fast. Lights do not exist." I resisted a sigh and strapped on my seatbelt. Tank slid Ranger a look like his intelligence had been insulted and tore out of the parking lot. His phone rang and he passed it to Ranger.

"Babe?" Silence. "We're on our way, be there in five." Another pause. "Okay, try to stay quiet. I'll stay on the line with you until we get there. He did what?" I could see the anger building in his posture while she spoke. "We'll get him. Just sit tight and stay hidden."

Ranger kept encouraging her during the trip, even though she wasn't speaking on his orders. He wanted her to know he was there and that we were on the way. By the time we reached the corner near Stephanie's location, Ranger was at a new level of stressed out.

Before Tank stopped the SUV, Ranger hopped out, pulled his gun from the back of his waistband, and worked his way toward Stephanie's location in the alley past the first building on Honor up from Stark Street.

"Babe?"

There was a loud crash and a feminine grunt followed by a shriek. Ranger growled low in his throat and proceeded forward. As we passed a full, raunchy smelling dumpster, we saw Stephanie hanging from the edge of the fire escape on the first floor of the building. Ed Milsap was raising his foot to stomp on her hands when Ranger raised his weapon toward him. Before the boss could get off a shot, Milsap disappeared inside the building.

We rushed over to the fire escape and Ranger climbed up the rickety iron lady until he reached eye level with Stephanie. He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her up against his body. She let go of the ledge she was holding and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck.

"Brown," Ranger called and I went over to steady the creaking ladder as he descended with one hand on the ladder and one arm wrapped tight around his woman. As soon as both feet were on solid ground, he slid his other arm beneath her knees and carried her to the Denali with Tank and I flanking them, eyes open for Milsap.

After a trip to the emergency room where Stephanie's ankle was set and put into a cast, Ranger drove us out of town to a safe house he keeps near Princeton. "Ranger…why are we out here?" Stephanie asked giving the house a once over. "You're not locking me up, are you?"

"No, I'm not locking you up. You're free to go where you want, Babe…in this house. I'll come get you when we have Milsap in custody without bail, which should be in the next few hours. He's come after you every time Vinnie bonded him out. I don't know why you decided to go after him tonight, but I'm not happy about it and I'm going to make sure he understands that he won't be bailing Milsap in the future, nor will anyone else Trenton." Ranger stood in front of her with his arms crossed and I decided it was a great time to leave the room.

"Brown, stay here. This discussion is over…for now." He turned on his heel and marched toward the front door. "She's under your care. See to it that she doesn't go anywhere as long as she can't run."

"Ranger!" Stephanie steamed out. "You have no right…"

"Don't I, Babe? I need to know you're safe while we take this piece of shit off the streets and I know you, you refuse to stay out of danger. What other choice do I have?" He gave her a half-apologetic, half-angry grimace.

Stephanie glared at him, arms crossed, as she sat on the couch tapping her good foot on the floor. I had to clench my teeth to keep from laughing; they looked like mirror images of each other. Total stubbornness. He sighed in resignation and walked over to her, placed a kiss on top of her head, which she flinched away from, and then turned and left. Without Ranger around to glare at, Stephanie turned her glare to me.

"What?" I asked caving under her glare.

"I want to take a shower. I have something that smells disgusting in my hair, my skin feels like I have bugs crawling on it, and there is something that feels like sand in my underwear."

"A shower isn't a good idea, especially with your cast…" I broke off when I saw her narrow her eyes even further. "Okay, maybe I can tape a bag around it. Would that work?"

"Whatever, I just want a shower." She was pouting and I felt a need to settle her before she started smashing things. She could redirect her anger more than any women I had ever met.

"Steph…Ranger can't handle you being unable to defend yourself. Having a broken ankle…"

"I know, I know. Just let me shower. I'll be better after cleaning up, Bobby. Promise."

I nodded and went to the kitchen for a garbage bag and duct tape. At least there were no windows in the bathroom, so I was confident she wouldn't escape from me. I returned and taped her cast up into the bag then assisted her to the bathroom. I didn't feel great about her showering, but I wasn't going to argue. She'd had one too many orders handed down today.

"My lips are so chapped, would you get my purse?" She thrust her bottom lip out at me and batted her lashes. _Shit_. I was doing so well to keep my mind off sexual things, but she knew just how to push my buttons. I can't resist a playful woman, even if she was taken.

I went to the living room to search for her purse. Shit, it must still be in the SUV. "Uhm, Steph you purse is still in the SUV." I closed my eyes and waited for the explosion. "Crap," she hissed. "Look in my coat pocket, I think there's a tube of lipstick in there."

I could feel sweat gather on my forehead as I started searching through both pockets, praying it wasn't the lipstick I thought it was. My hand caught hold of a small cylinder and I pulled it. I stared at the gold colored tube and felt my hand start to shake._ Dear God, if you're listening… _

"Found it!" I called and made my way back to the bathroom, leaving the tube closed because I wasn't brave enough to see if my hasty prayer had been answered.

She uncapped the tube and twisted up the red temptation. I started thinking about work. I had a lot to do there. I had leads to follow up on for Tank, contacts to call for Ranger, and, Good Lord, the woman had sensual lips. She painted them, pressed and rubbed them together, and then made kissing motions on a piece of toilet paper to remove the excess. She gave me a sheepish look, "Thanks, Bobby."

_Christ. If she only knew how damn hot I thought it was…_ "You're welcome. You all set?" Did my voice sound strained? I was thinking it was sounding strained.

"Yeah." She started unbuttoning her jeans and then hooked her thumbs under the waistband. I never ran so fast from a woman before.

I paced the living room transitioning my thoughts back to work. I had to call Carter, then Mosley to get their info on the skip we were tailing. Then I had to contact the Feds to arrange a meeting for Ranger, Tank, and I to–I didn't get to finish my thoughts. A loud crash and scream from the bathroom had me running full tilt to the door, gun raised. I heard whimpering on the other side and burst through only to remember that there was no way anyone could have gotten into the bathroom without my knowledge.

"Steph?"

She was sniffling and answered in a wobbly voice. "I slipped and landed on my foot, it really h-h-hurts."

"Can you get out?" I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers.

I heard her sigh and grumble something under her breath before saying, "No, I need help."

I stood frozen, staring at the shower curtain for a full minute, schooling my emotions and racing libido. The shower was still running and I knew she would be naked…with moist, juicy sex on her lips and water all over every inch of her alluring skin. I gulped a few times.

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." _God help me, I was going to help her out._ I reached up to pull back the shower curtain and took a deep breath. The shower curtain seemed to slide of its own volition because I didn't remember moving my hand, I froze at the sight of her in the far corner of the shower, one hand braced on the side of the tub, her other hand and arm trying to cover her naked breasts, and her injured foot raised away from the shower spray. I clenched my teeth at the image of her semi-spread eagle position before me.

Holy Fucking Damn! Ranger was one lucky bastard. Not only was she perfection on legs, those legs were curved in all the right places, all the places a man would want to run his tongue over, and she was waxed bare. The glimpse of one tight, rosy pink nipple called to my tongue and I bit down on it to keep it in my mouth, where it belonged, where it was safe from being cut out by Ranger.

I assessed the situation, not taking my eyes off her glistening body. The shower was huge. Fucking Ranger. The man loved his damned showers and now I had to get into the shower with my clothes on, get wet and, worst of all, touch her luscious wet body to help her! "Okay, I'm taking my boots off and then I'll get you out."

"Whatever, just hurry. My leg weighs a ton with this damned cast on it and I'm getting tired!" She raised her injured foot indicating the position she held it in and I swallowed the groan of pain that rose to my throat. Pain because my damn dick was so hard I could have pounded nails with it. I tugged off my boots. The last thing I needed was for my boots to be wet when Ranger came back and then have to explain this to him. Or run for my life, and I hated to run in squishy boots! At least I'd have time to compose myself before having that conversation. My clothes would most likely still be wet when he returned, so I had a good chance of him believing my story – I mean the truth. If I was lucky, and if all the planets, the sun, and the moon aligned in the proper positions, that is.

I stepped into the shower and braced a hand on the wall and leaned down to turn off the spray. Too late, I noticed that there was shower gel all over the floor. My bare feet slipped on the slick floor and I wasn't able to catch myself in time before I fell, cracking my head against the tile wall. I heard Stephanie shriek before it was lights out.

_I woke up in a warm bed, covered with a white feather down comforter. The smell of something exotic and warm beckoned me and I swung my legs over the side of the bed, noticing for the first time that I was naked. I looked around for my clothes, but didn't find any. Assuming that I was in the company of friends, I opened the door to the room and peeked out into the hall. It was long and dark, but I saw a faint glow coming from beneath a doorway about halfway down. I turned in that direction and gave the door a tentative knock when I reached it._

"_Come in, Bobby." The female voice that answered sounded so familiar, but I blocked the knowledge of who it was from my mind. She couldn't possibly want me in the way her tone had suggested._

_Opening the door, I entered the room and saw that it was a luxurious bathroom, complete with an enormous sunken tub, two person shower with powerful full body jets and overhead jets, and candles lit all over the room making it just this side of too warm. My eyes settled on the tub, full of steaming water, bubbles, and Stephanie Plum, the object of my desire._

_I stared at her and she smiled. "I've been waiting for you to wake up." She scooched over on the sunken bench she was seated on and made a 'come hither' motion with her index finger. _

_I stared at her for only the second it took for me to make my decision and asked, "Are you sure about this?"_

_With a grin, she lifted her hand out of the water revealing a leather and chain contraption that I recognized as mine, an object I kept hidden in the back of one of my dresser drawers. I sent her a feral grin and wasted no time slipping into the tube beside her. I sat down on the narrow tile bench and waited. She set down the playful little toy and settled herself in front of me in the tub, standing on her knees. The tub was so deep that the water was at breast level and the bubbles just came to her nipples._

_She studied me as her delicate hands came up out of the water sliding up beneath her breasts to lift and press them together, creating a deep, generous cleavage. Groups of iridescent bubbles flowed down the smooth slopes of her firm breasts to become droplets of water that balanced and then elongated before they dripped off her beautiful, tight rosy nipples. "Taste them, I think you'll like…very much."_

_I needed no further encouragement. I gripped her elbows with my calloused hands and pulled her forward, dipping my head down to draw an erect peak into my hungry mouth. I swirled my tongue and tasted the sweet fruity bubbles that blended well with her own exotic scent. The heady mixture awakened my inner sex demon and I bit down on the sensuous feast in my mouth, drawing a loud yelp of pleasure from low in her throat._

"_Ohhh, Bobby likes it rough," she moaned out just before she clamped down on my earlobe. I let out a grumbling laugh and lifted her higher, still holding her elbows. I bit my way down to the underside of her breast where I proceeded to lap up the tasty bubbles there and then moved to the other, biting my way back up and taking the other nipple between my teeth. I ran my tongue over her sensitive tissue, rough and unforgiving, and was treated to more sharp noises and a strained, "Bobby!"_

"_God, Steph. What is this? These bubbles taste amazing against your skin. It's like drinking the nectar of the gods. I feel immortal when I taste your skin." I nibbled my way up the top of her breast to her neck and bit down on her pulse point. She released a short gasp and a bark of aroused laughter. She placed the palms of her hands on my chest and shoved my back against the tiles. The shock of cold felt good against my overheated skin._

_With a feral glint in her eye, she slid her hands to my head, tilting it back with a quick, firm movement before she began a vicious assault on my neck. The forceful nips and nibbles of her teeth and tongue produced steady groans and colorful curses from me. "It's Shunga Edible Shower Gel…but it makes a great bubble bath. I enjoyed tasting them on my skin waiting for you to come sample. Very tasty, don't you think?"_

_I could only sigh out my response, because my eyes rolled back into my head with the swirling motion of her tongue on my nipple and the strategically placed bites between her words. Her hands traveled beneath the surface down over my well-defined six pack and settled on my hipbones, tracing circles over them._

_I watched her blood red lips kiss and nip their way down my dark skin, her pink tongue flicking out to soothe my skin whenever she'd latched onto my skin with her teeth, stopping only when she felt the bubbles touch her face. She sat up, then and reached a hand up out of the water to the ledge, finally taking hold of the little toy she'd set aside a few moments before. "Do you know what this is?"_

_I couldn't help the naughty grin that spread across my face. "Sure do, Mistress." She cocked her head to the side, raising both of her eyebrows at the name. I grinned again, gripping her waist and began stroking her soft, lithe body up and down my rock hard body, warm water slouching and caressing our skin in time with the movement. I almost lost it every time her smooth, tight abdomen slid over my powerful erection. She was satin and cream and I groaned with delight at the contact, anticipating the moment when I would slide home into her tight, velvety heat._

"_You've called to my inner sex demon, I can only think of you as the Mistress of the Night right now with your hands clamped around that ball stretcher. The things you're going to do to me, I know I'm gonna like, a lot. I hope you can handle me." I nipped at her jaw as I spoke, holding my hand around her neck, my index finger on her carotid witnessing each time her pulse jumped._

"_Mmm, I was out to torture you, Master Demon, but maybe it will be the other way around."_

"_You want to be dominated like a little bitch, Mistress? Is that what you like?"_

_Her breath hitched and a light gasp left her lips. She nodded, her blue eyes darkening to midnight. "Mistress of the Midnight is what you are. Midnight eyes, midnight soul, dark and wanton. My slave, my end." I grabbed her wrist with my free hand, bringing the toy up between us, the chains on it jangling quietly thanks to the water. "Put it on me, I crave the pain."_

_The pink triangle of her tongue dipped out to lick her lips again and my cock strained against her silky flesh. She reached down with her free hand and circled her strong fingers around the thick base of my cock, squeezing and massaging me until my breath flared my nostrils with each exhale. She wiggled her other wrist and I released it. Removing her other hand from my cock, she brought it up to pop open the heavy snaps on the leather cuff. Then she plunged it beneath the water, using one hand to grip my balls and pull them down, the other hand circling the cuff around the top of my scrotum just beneath my cock._

_Once the snaps were done, she slid her hands down my thighs to rest on my knee. "Now what, Master Darkheart?"_

_My hand tightened on her throat firm, yet with passion and I pressed her back against the tiled wall, leaning in to rake my teeth over her breast. "Just cry 'mercy' if you need a break. I like crazy wild sex," I pulled back to look her in the eye, "but not at the expense of my partner's enjoyment."_

_A slow grin started on her lips, blooming into a full-fledged smile. "I think you'll be surprised, Master."_

_I growled at her response and jerked my hand on her neck, producing a light smack of her head on the tiles. "Then you are mine to do with as I please?"_

_Her eyes were alive and excited. The measured pressure I was applying to her neck kept her from speaking so she nodded and graced me with a sly smile from her luscious red lips. I gave a roar of triumph and commanded her to hold my wrist with her hands. She did so and I moved my hand up beneath her jaw and lifted her, one-handed, out of the water, pinning her against the backsplash. I reached down and lifted one delicate foot, and then the other, out of the water to rest on the edge of the tub so she was before me, naked with bubbles dripping down her body, legs spread, pussy looking up at me, glistening with water, soap, and desire. Shit, her flesh was so swollen with arousal and I nearly came undone at the sight of her._

_I glanced up to check her comfort level. I needed a fixed, strong hold to support her weight, but her face wasn't red, only flushed with desire. She gave me a slight nod to let me know that she was okay with my control over her. Relieved, I focused in on the white, pink and red display she created in front of me. I traced a fingertip around one nipple, then the other, dragging it down her side to her hip bone, where I traced the same circles she'd been tracing on mine. I fanned my hand out over her pelvis, pressing my thumb to her clit._

_Her back arched and her hips flexed against the intimate touch and I pressed harder, staring into her eyes. "You like it when I'm toying with your clit? Is your pussy ready to explode?" She nodded a violent yes to both questions and I closed my hand a little tighter around her neck. "Do you know autoerotic asphyxia, Mistress?"_

_Her eyes grew darker and her lips parted, a droplet of drool formed at the corner of her mouth. I howled with triumphant laughter. "I take that as a yes?" She blinked her eyes once to signal she was still willing to play along. "Rest your hands on my arms, if it gets to be too much, slap me." She did as instructed and I kissed the top of each hand. She gave me a light squeeze and that's all it took for both of us to progress to the next level. I closed my eyes and tightened my hold, fearing that I would feel her anxious slap on my arm. When I felt another light squeeze from her grasp, I looked up and almost released my hold. _

_Her eyes! The look in them as I cut off her air, little by little, rubbing my thumb in hard circles over her clit! Wanting to give her the ride of her life, I slammed my extra large cock into her quivering pussy, groaning in elation at the feel of her slick tightness around me. I began pumping into her, wild…frantic, all the while watching and gauging her response, also mentally timing the game. I'm no fool. I know it's a dangerous game to play, which is part of its attraction, but I also have no desire to be a statistic with my sexual exploitations. I'm practiced and exact, and the result is nothing short of nuclear._

_It took only a few seconds for her to begin bucking her hips wildly against me, clinging to me with the walls of her pussy. I released my hold, allowing the air back in and giving her another jolt of erotic pleasure as the oxygen mixed with her arousal. The scream of pleasure that left her sent me over the edge and I growled as she tightened her walls around me throughout her orgasm, my cock exploding in addictive agony inside her, leaving us both trembling and breathless._

_I gave us a few moments to recover before sliding out of her, my cock already hard as more devious plans formed in my mind. I smiled a self-satisfied smile at her. "How was that?"_

"_Unh." She mumbled, unable to form a coherent word, her smile lazy. I gripped her hips and held her steady, not allowing her the energy to lower her hips. I made quick use of the opportunity and lifted her higher as I lowered my head to place a light kiss on her swollen clit. She rewarded me with a piercing yell and I pulled back to see her pussy flexing in anticipation. God, I loved an eager pussy and that's what hers was: eager, naughty, and ready._

_I leaned down again, closing my mouth over the tender nub, sucking hard, drawing out a strangled cry from her. I bit down gently, sliding my teeth back and forth over the ultrasensitive bundle of nerves and felt her juices explode against my chin. Her screams were loud enough to wake the dead and I pleasured her further by sliding my mouth down and tonguing her clean, sucking and lapping at her juices, mingled with my own, until she had no voice left to scream with, all she could manage were gasps of heightened pleasure._

_When her third orgasm started, I slid three fingers inside her, curling my fingers against that secret spot. She grabbed my head, pulling hard, tugging and causing me to cross over into that area of pleasure and pain as I drew her orgasm into a long, earth-shattering experience for her. If there's one thing I know, it's how to prolong a woman's pleasure. I've spent years perfecting my technique and I was happy to use it on her, to make her hoarse with enjoyment._

_When her tremors subsided, I lowered us both back into the water, stroking my hands over her body, washing her intimately, using my fingers to spread apart her lips and then dip inside to cleanse her and ready her for what I had planned next. She was moaning and grinding her pussy in a greedy rhythm against my hand, when I pulled away._

_Recharged by sexual arousal, she launched herself at me, pinning me against the tiled wall, closing her hand around my throat this time. Shock wove its way into pulsating need and I rested my hands against the tub's edge to see what she would do. Her one word command was delivered in a soft, gruff voice, "Up." I complied and raised myself up to sit on the edge, keeping my hands in place. _

_She kissed her way down my body, biting my flesh hard in her enthusiasm, drawing groans that were laced with more pleasure than pain. Her hands caressed the underside of my thighs in smooth, light touches, making my cock twitch up and down, begging to feel the inside of her again._

_Suddenly, she reached over and hooked her finger through the ring on the ball stretcher, tugging downward and stretching them almost to the point that would draw a scream from inside me. I groaned and tightened my grip on the edge of the tub, to keep from taking grabbing her hips and burying myself inside her and satisfying the urgent need that continued to grow. Then, the evil woman bent her head down and began to lick and kiss the stretched skin of my scrotum. This time I allowed myself to yell with pleasure like I've never yelled before. My deep timbre echoed in the bathroom, sounding like the rumble of a building storm, and indeed it was._

_Her teeth made little nibbles and my senses went into overload. I couldn't see straight anymore and I didn't need to; I was just a thought, a spirit of extreme rapture in that moment. Mother of Hell, I was going to cum and she hadn't even touched me. I felt my orgasm building and then cried out in shock when she took one wet finger and massaged the entrance to my ass, pressing her thumb against my prostate. I bellowed out her name as a monstrous orgasm overtook me. Just as my cum was about to shoot out, she closed her mouth over me, sucking and drinking me in, making hungry little noises that elicited grunts of excitement and bliss from me._

_Seeing her red lips closed around my dark cock brought out my demon sex fiend and I yanked her up as soon as my convulsions stopped and turned her around, seating her on my lap, binding her arms behind her back with one hand. The other I brought around and plunged the fingers into her juicy pussy. I used my fingers to fuck her senseless until she was screaming out, "Master!" over and over again. She began bouncing her ass against my thighs as she rode my fingers through her powerful climax. _

_I released her arms and she pushed my legs apart, leaning down to grip the ball stretcher as she raised up and impaled herself on my cock. A blinding white-hot heat shot through my body as she used her thighs to bounce up and down on my cock, fucking me with wild abandon, all the while tugging at my balls, creating fierce pain and stupendous delight all at once. She pulled so hard, I thought my balls would come off, but it only increased the pleasure._

_Unable to stand it, I stood, keeping my cock firmly planted inside her and plastered her to the wall with one arm around her waist and the other hand rubbing fervently at her clit. Her hands came up to the wall to steady herself as I began my furious thrusts, slamming the head of my cock in a relentless attack on her G-spot. The final explosion for both of us came in simultaneous waves, forcing us to our knees in the water as I continued to massage her walls with my pulsating cock until we could both no longer move or speak. _

_We stayed like that for moments upon moments, her arms outstretched against the wall, visibly shaking, my head lowered against her shoulder, arms still, cock still, pussy still, breath coming in long, ragged puffs as we recovered._

_When I could finally speak, my words were slurred and on the verge of being delirious, "You are truly the Mistress of Midnight. I've never experienced anything so wonderful as that…"_

"And trust me, you never will again." I heard Ranger's angry, clipped tone break into my thoughts and struggled to open my eyes. "Get up, Brown, before I shoot your ass."

The cloudy, candlelit bathroom had disappeared as I opened my eyes to blinding light. I did a couple of quick blinks and finally focused my eyes on my surroundings. I saw the tiled wall of the shower in Ranger's safe house, along with a wide-eyed Stephanie sitting on the toilet with the shower curtain wrapped around her body, and an angry Ranger standing over me looking for all the world like I was two breaths away from death. In fact, knowing what he most likely witnessed, I probably was.

"I fell and knocked myself out on the tile," I blurted out and knew from the narrowing of his eyes that it would have been better if I'd kept my mouth shut.

"Do you think you have a concussion?" His tone wasn't concern, but more calculated.

"I don't know." I raised myself up out of the shower, noting that I was soaked to the skin fully clothed, and I was getting cold. I felt around my head, noting the slight bump where my head had hit just above my forehead. "No, probably not. I'm going to have a lump and a bruise for a while." No sooner had I finished my sentence than a large, dark fist slammed into my jaw. I spun around from the impact and went down to the floor of the shower.

"As soon as you recover from your injuries, I'll be seeing you on the mats. As early in the fucking morning as possible the day you return to work. Get checked out. I'll send Santos up to take you to the hospital." He scooped Stephanie, still wide-eyed and shocked, into his arms and carried her out of the bathroom.

_No, anyone but Santos!_ My head hurt in two places now, but as the memories of my fantasy came back, I knew I'd have enough vivid images to last me through a few weeks alone in bed. I massaged my jaw and closed my eyes. _I was going to beat Santos' ass when he teased me about this. Shit! Fucking lipstick!_


	9. Hot Chocolate Ch 9

_Disclaimer: All characters and familiar entities belong to Janet Evanovich. We are using them expressly for my our own entertainment._

_A/N: This is a Tank one-shot ... finally! We have just two more chapters to post in the future!_

_**WARNING: As usual, there are words used that may be offensive, but we hope you enjoy the story anyway!**_

**Hot Chocolate **

Ranger scanned the service-hardened faces of the decorated officers sitting around the conference table. "Gentlemen, I appreciate all of you joining us today here in New York City. Let's proceed." Together, they all reached for the top-secret files placed in front of them and slid their fingers through the paper seal running along the side.

"In front of you is a detailed outline of the new listening device we will be testing today." Ranger nodded his head at the two men sitting in the back of the room off by themselves, Lester and Hal. "My associates who were responsible for preparing this demonstration will be available to answer any of your questions at the end of the demonstration."

One of the attendees cleared his throat, "How will the intermittent power outages we're experiencing affect the results?"

"Minimally at best," Ranger answered. "The test area is an empty apartment in Trenton, New Jersey, circa 1940. Occupancy is comprised of 90% senior citizens. Atmosphere will be polluted with multiple signals from the various hearing devices, pace makers, and high volume from their televisions and radios. The two men I'm sending in to seek and disarm the device are highly trained and experienced. They have been instructed to speak freely and at various volumes as they search for the device. Two-way conversation will not be available with the test area." Ranger glanced at his wristwatch. "The test is to set to begin at 14:00. In the meantime, we can run over the specs of the devices and answer any questions you may have."

*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*

Tank pulled the transport van into the parking lot of Stephanie's old apartment building and backed it into the parking place next to the door. Stephanie could only groan at the parking karma all of the guys of RangeMan seemed to be under.

They opened the doors to the van's cab and a rush of hot, suffocating air surrounded them. "I'm going to melt!" Stephanie grumbled as she climbed down and slammed the door behind her.

Tank was already sweating by the time he raised the roller door on the back of the van. Inside, a large tarp covered item sat waiting. "Woman, I cannot believe I let you talk me into this," Tank said and shook his head in wonderment.

"Just think what would happen if you didn't help me." Stephanie shuddered and wiped the moisture that was building on her forehead. "I don't even want to imagine Ranger's reaction if he found out about the statue."

Tank's entire body quaked with laughter. "Only you, Bomber, could inspire an erotic artist to carve a life size statue of you in chocolate for the public action the city is doing for charity."

"I didn't inspire anyone! Hell, if it weren't for Mooner, I would never have known about it!" Stephanie complained. "I can't believe my life sometimes.

Tank flashed her one more brilliant smile and then pulled the ramp from under the bumper and angled it down. "Hold the door open for me, okay?" He called over his shoulder as he climbed up inside the transport area.

Stephanie hurried to open the back door and heard Tank's grunt as he hefted the statue over his shoulder. She watched as he balanced the weight and sauntered down the ramp and through the back door.

"We'd better take the stairs. I don't trust that old elevator with the power cutting in and out because of the brownout," Tank said and Stephanie nodded in agreement.

"Good grief! It's hotter inside than it is outside," Stephanie complained as she started up the stairs. The sweet scent of the rich chocolate filled the stairwell and her mouth started to water. Mooner had said the artist had used a special type of chocolate made by a Master Chocolatier in Boston. She was willing to bet it was rich and creamy and incredible.

Tank grunted in agreement and followed her up to the second floor. By the time he reached the top, she already had the door to the apartment open, taking care to give him as much room as possible to get through the doorway.

*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*

Ranger scowled when the red light on the small black box resting in front of him on the table started to blink. He glanced at the time, 13:30. He fixed his eyes on Lester and Hal, both men shrugged. "Seems we're going to start the test early." He tried to quell the lump of dread that settled in the pit of his stomach and flipped the sound on.

"Shit, it must be 120 degrees in here and what is that smell? Run down and ask Dillon what's up with the air-conditioning." Tank's voice reverberated loud and clear throughout the conference room. "Damn, I had no idea what I was getting into when I agreed to help you out with this problem." A heavy thud sounded as Tank set the statue in the center of the empty living room. Then he pulled the end of his t-shirt out of his waistband and wiped the sweat from his brow.

What the hell was Tank doing there? Ranger wondered. Bobby and Cal were supposed to be doing the second half of the demonstration.

"Told you, solving my problem would require someone larger than Ranger and you're the only man I know who is bigger. Today, size definitely matters and, besides, I trust you." Ranger stopped breathing at the sound of Stephanie's voice. "Damn it, Tank I need you." Stephanie braced her right foot on the doorjamb and tugged on the doorknob with both hands, but the door refused to open and she noticed that the security bolt had been set. _Shit!_ They were locked in. Stephanie motioned to the door and frowned at Tank. "This is all Ranger's fault! I knew this would happen when he insisted on rearranging my life with all his equipment."

She smacked her hand against the security panel that wasn't responding to the override code. "I swear I'm so hot I think I'm going to self-combust." She tried the code one more time, hoping that the light would turn green so that she could open the windows and door. Damn brownout, everything electric was on the fritz.

"That's going to have to wait. Come over here and help me get this off 'cause _you're_ not going to last in this heat." Tank began working the tarp over the statue. "Besides, I can't wait to expose the erotic side of you." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

Stephanie turned her attention away from the door and went to help Tank with the tarp. "Hey, be careful with me! Your big hands might break something important if you don't slow down!"

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, this isn't the first time I've done this you know." Tank gave a hearty laugh at the flush that began to creep up her neck to her face.

"Maybe not _your_ first time, but I've never seen _me_ this way before."

"Let's just do it already." They flipped the tarp up, filling it with air, and lifted it off the statue. The nude statue had been carved in a standing position, with its legs slightly apart, one hand on its hip. The other arm was outstretched, bent at the elbow with a pair of handcuffs dangling from its fingers. "Holy shit, Bombshell, you're beautiful!" Tank's voice grew soft with admiration when he admired the perfectly carved replica of the woman standing next to him. "I just want to lick you all over!"

Stephanie's snort of embarrassment was muffled in the conference room by the low growl that emitted from deep inside Ranger's chest. The members of the meeting maintained their blank expressions while their eyes darted quick glances at each other with something akin to amusement in their eyes. This little demonstration was most unexpected, but entertaining.

"Get your hands off me!" Stephanie smacked Tank's hand away from the statue's breast.

"What? Nothing wrong with a man appreciating a thing of beauty and I think the handcuffs are a nice touch, but I have to say, you're breasts are looking a little soft.

"What do you mean my boobs are soft? They look fine to me." Stephanie gave the statue a scrutinizing look. She had to admit the artist had done a wonderful job, but it was scary how closely the statue resembled her and how anatomically correct it was without the man ever setting eyes on her!

"Who would have guessed you had a mole here?" Tank chuckled and extended his finger out to touch a spot on one of the statue's butt cheeks.

"What are you talking about? I don't have a mole on my ass." She walked around to inspect the offending bump that the artist had given her likeness. He certainly had a creative imagination.

Tank stuck his chocolate covered finger in his mouth and pulled it out with a loud, slobbery pop. "You're right, you don't. Damn, you taste good!" He traced his finger up the outside of the statue's leg and then licked the chocolate off his finger and moaned. "Wow, the boss has no idea what he's missing by giving this stuff up. This is top quality right here."

"I know. I keep trying to tell him." Stephanie couldn't resist running her finger down the statue's arm and tasting the rapidly softening chocolate for herself and released a long deep moan. "Oh my God … I can't stand this, I need more!" She broke off one statue's fingers and started licking it with loud slurping sounds. Soft moans of bliss escaped her as the chocolate melted on her tongue, she had never tasted chocolate so creamy and smooth. "Oh my God, Tank! Wow! So smooth, so rich," she murmured in between licks.

The men attending the meeting shifted in their chairs and forced themselves to ignore the man at the end of the table pulling the complimentary pens from the cup in front of him and breaking them in half, one by one, in his right hand.

Tank started to laugh when he saw the mess of melted chocolate that covered Stephanie's face. "You hungry? Ready for something bigger?" He asked and reached up and broke off one of the ears. "Here, give this a try."

"Yes, I need more, now! Ranger's kept me deprived of this for weeks!" Stephanie grabbed the large chunk of chocolate out of Tank's hand and shoved half of it in her mouth. Her long moan echoed around the empty room and over the microphone.

"Damn, my head feels like it's going to explode, but you taste so good, I can't stop eating!" Tank rubbed his forehead and then started to laugh uncontrollably. "And why in the hell am I laughing so much? Something ain't right."

Stephanie couldn't stop the giggle that worked its way around the chocolate in her mouth. "What are you doing?" She tried to stop laughing, but failed. "Oh you're bad … I can't believe you just bit my nipple!" This caused another round of laughter from both of them.

"Never tasted anything this good in my life." A loud, juicy 'whap' sounded around the room when Tank smacked the statue on its ass. "I just have to do this … now." Tank bent down and took a big bite out of the statue's backside.

"Hey! I can't believe you just bit my ass!" Stephanie doubled over in a fit of laugher. "First my nipple, now my ass! What's next?"

Tank gave her an evil smile and slipped his hand between the statue's legs. "Don't you ever tell Lula I had my hands between your legs. Damn, starting to feel like a meltdown in here." He pulled his chocolate-coated hand out and started noisily licking his fingers clean, one by one. "All this sweet tasting creaminess, I can see me becoming addicted to this real quick." His voice boomed in laughter.

"I can't stand this, I need more!" Stephanie grabbed one of the statue's arms and pulled hard. She snickered when the melting form of chocolate started to wobble and then screamed when it went tumbling down on her with a heavy crash, drawing out a whoosh of air from her. "Tank!" Stephanie's scream filled the empty apartment and carried over loud and clear into the conference room.

"I'm coming, hold…" Tank was laughing so hard by the time he reached Stephanie that he was crawling on his knees. He began digging her out from under all the chocolate goo. Damn, she was going to be pissed when she woke up and found out she wouldn't be able to eat any more of the chocolate. He moved the last remaining big piece of chocolate off her leg and then sat down so he could prop his back against the wall. When he saw what item of the statue he was holding, he stopped laughing. Staring up at him was the chocolate face of Stephanie Plum with the sexiest pair of red lips ever to grace a woman's face.

"Oh, shit." Tank closed his eyes and lost his last grip on reality.

*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*

_Pierre walked into his penthouse wearing a tailored chocolate brown zoot suit with cream pinstripes. The cream dress shirt beneath was pressed to perfection with a dark chocolate brown tie tucked neatly beneath the double-breasted jacket. In one hand he carried a shiny cane of polished, dark-stained mahogany with a mother of pearl handle. A chocolate brown fedora with a cream band and brown and cream wing-tipped shoes completed the outfit._

_He flicked his long, muscular arm and the cuff of his custom made shirt slipped back from his wrist to reveal the ornate golden glimmer of his Rolex. He noted the time and calculated that he had exactly four hours before the 'meeting' with his partners. Smiling to himself, he shifted his raised arm across his chest and felt the golden .357 Magnum resting warm and snug in his shoulder holster beneath the jacket. Yes, he was a dangerous man. He'd gotten the gun from an old friend and it suited his taste perfectly with the golden barrel and chocolate brown grip._

_He felt like celebrating and walked over to the wet bar near the kitchen and poured himself two fingers of his 1926 Macallan whiskey, which he had purchased for a bargain at $35,000. He'd been saving it for a special occasion and tonight was special. Tonight he would be crowned King of the gun running empire. Yes, it was time to celebrate his eminent success._

_He hung his cane by its handle on the counter top, pulled out a Baccarat Abysse tumbler, and had just grabbed the prized bottle of whiskey when there was a knock at the door. Heaving a slight sigh of frustration, he gently set down the bottle and walked over to the door, unholstering his gun as he moved. He gave a cautious glance out the peep hole and raised his eyebrows in surprise. On the other side of the door stood a certain curly, brown-haired vixen he had seen the past two nights in "Box", the five star restaurant in his hotel. He had been wining and dining her, trying to entice her up to his penthouse._

_Suspicious, but not wanting to miss the opportunity of a lifetime, he slid his gun back into the holster and opened the heavy wooden door to Miss Stephanie Plum, who was wearing a bronze charmeuse silk halter gown with a plunging neckline. The silky fabric draped down her body, showing off her slim curves, and skimmed down over her long legs until it brushed the floor in front. She peered up at him through her long, black mascara-encased lashes, her blue eyes timid and uncertain._

_She wore no other makeup except for the deep red seduction on her lips and Pierre felt himself harden as he gazed upon the luscious pout she had produced for him. He stepped aside to let her in and caught a glimpse of a pair of very sexy Louboutin Very Galaxy Gold peep toe pumps. As she passed him, he got a whiff of Dolce & Gabbana's 'The One' mixing with her irresistible body chemistry and felt his slacks grow even tighter._

_He kept his eyes on the slow sway of her hips when she made her way over to the wet bar, admiring the view of the skin exposed by the open back of the dress. The fabric trailing over the carpet in back of her rustled when she came to a stop in front of the wet bar and picked up the expensive bottle of alcohol. She stroked her hand up and down the neck of the bottle, giving it a slight twist as her hand caressed over the cool glass. Pierre watched, mesmerized, mentally replacing the bottle neck with his cock. "Mmm, looks good, Mr. Deroy." She licked her lips and pursed them into another pout, and then turned her face toward the big man. "What's the occasion?"_

_Horny, but not stupid, he gave her a slight smile. "I am celebrating the arrival of a sexy little vixen, Miss Plum." He crossed the room and lifted the expensive beverage from her hands, ripped off the seal, and opened the bottle. He selected a crystal tumbler from the wet bar and poured a finger for her. He was already apprised of her tendency to succumb to the effects of alcohol. He had a full dossier on her. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Pierre asked as he presented the sparkling glass to her and pulled down another from the cabinet for himself. _

"_Well, I'm in need, Mr. Deroy, in need of a real man to show me a good time. Word has it you're the best." Her purring voice nearly caused him to choke on the liquid he had sipped. He wasn't sure why she had changed her mind and he also knew he hadn't tasted one damn bit of the burning liquid he'd been waiting to savor. He'd found a new liquid he wanted to lose himself in._

"_Why?"_

"_You've been after me for a couple of days, and I nearly gave in last night, but tonight you didn't show up in the restaurant. I've been wet for you since I saw you at Patachou last week. So, tonight I thought 'Why not go for it? See if that man is as fierce as he looks.' And here I am." She blinked her eyes at him a couple of times, fanning her lashes in a slow wanton fashion, allowing him to see brief flashes of her clear blue eyes as they deepened to dark sapphire._

_He studied her small frame and firm, round breasts before saying, "You know, I'm not an easy man to forget. You'll be feeling me for weeks."_

_She licked her lips, causing the red lipstick to glisten with moisture. "I'm counting on it." She held his gaze as she cradled the cool crystal glass between her breasts. The picture she made caused his mouth to go dry. He studied the wild curls that trailed down her neck and rested on her shoulders, the varying shades of brown mingling to create a multifaceted effect in the low lighting that held him mesmerized._

"_You're just a little thing, Miss Plum. I could hurt you." He gave her one final out and, if she still persisted, he would have his iniquitous way with her._

_She let her sultry eyes travel up and down his body and then leaned into him. She arched her hips forward and rubbed her abdomen against his strong, thick erection that not even two layers of fabric could diminish. "I welcome that, too. Show me what I'm going to feel forever."_

_With a slow grin, he slipped off his jacket and laid it across the chair that stood beside the wet bar. His tie and shirt followed and she licked the drool from the corner of her mouth as her eyes took in the muscular expanse of his chest. She thought she would pass out when his hands opened his slacks and his humongous erection sprang out, pointing straight up, hard and ready._

_She had never seen anything like it. She stared at the long rod of masculine power that stood at attention before her. The fat head looked good enough to eat and the thick shaft was so broad she was certain her hand wouldn't be able to circle it. "Oh my God," she whimpered in anticipation._

_He chuckled as he removed the rest of his clothing until he stood naked before her, his powerful, titanic body gleaming in the room's low lighting. She itched to touch his skin. It was so smooth and flawless, save for a couple of scars, that he could have been a sculpture made from the finest chocolate made by a Master Chocolatier. Her eyes settled on the colossal pillar before her and she shivered._

"_Don't worry, Miss Plum. We'll make sure you enjoy every thick, enjoyable inch I have to offer you." He slipped his goliath hands beneath her arms and lifted her, slowly, high into the air above his head until he was looking up at her between her pert breasts. Her nipples were displayed to perfection through the thin silk fabric of her dress and his big man downstairs twitched with a need to get some pussy lovin'. "Put your knees on top my shoulders, Miss Plum."_

"_Stephanie," she moaned softly, raised her legs, and sucked in a gasp when her knees brushed against his rock solid chest. She settled her knees down on his shoulders and felt him relax his hold when she gained her balance on top until she rested on them, his face mere inches from the aching, rapidly twitching spot she hoped he would tend first._

"_Lower your dress, Stephanie." His deep bass voice vibrated up through her legs, releasing the gush of slick, wet liquid she had been trying to contain. She was so close to his face he could smell her arousal, the heady, musky scent swirling around him, darkening his eyes with an excruciating need that made his vision go black._

_She raised her arms in a slow, seductive manner and unclipped the fastening at the nape of her neck, letting the glossy fabric float down past her breasts to pool at her waist. He sucked in a breath at the sight of her bare, creamy breasts. She had the soft, unblemished skin of a high class dame, not normally the type to consort with the criminal set, like him. The thought that she was willing to get dirty with him made him impatient to take her fast and hard._

"_More," he commanded in a firm voice that drew a low moan from her throat. She reached behind her and unzipped the well-hidden zipper at the back of her dress, dragging it down a section at a time until it reached the stop at the base. Inch by inch, her lily white skin was revealed until the bronze material was pooled at her knees beneath Pierre's strong, masculine chin._

_His breath caught at the sight of the red satin bow v-string panties she wore. Around her hips were three satin strands that curved around to the back to tie in separate bows. Down the center in front, perfectly outlining her beautiful little triangle of naked flesh, were two separate strands of red satin held together with a flesh-toned scrap of silk gauze that displayed her offering and hid nothing from his hungry eyes. He could see how dripping wet she was by the moisture seeping through the red satin and gauze at his eye level._

_She saw that he was captivated and decided to spur him into action, so she reached behind and untied the first … second … and then the third strand. When the last bow was undone, she maintained her finger hold on the satin strand and pulled it back until the little garment slipped away from her and dangled from her fingertips. She brought the scrap of satin and silk around to the front and took up another strand in her other hand so it was stretched out in front of him, obscuring his view._

_With a low growl, he caught the center of the fabric in his teeth, tasting her juices, and ripped it from her hands to drop it off to the side. "Nothing stands in the way when I want to see your juicy lips begging for me, you hear me?" He asked in a seductive, feral tone._

_She dropped her head back and arched her hips toward him, causing her lips to part slightly, and moaned, "Oh God, yes, Mr. Deroy."_

"_From now on, you will call me Pierre. Do we have an understanding?" She could feel his hot breath mingling with her hot juices as he spoke and groaned with a nod of her head. "Can't hear your head nodding, Stephanie."_

"_Yes!" She yelled, her body beginning to tremble with urgent need. The anticipation alone was enough to bring her to the edge of her orgasm. If he so much as touched her, she knew she would explode into a billion pieces._

"_Alright then. Let's see what the King can do for you." Still showing no signs of strain, he lifted her up and out until her knees slid from his shoulders and her dress slipped to the floor so that she was wearing only her Louboutins. When he pulled her back in, she slid her knees up to rest at their perch on his shoulders and he slid his hands down from beneath her arms to hold her waist in a firm grip. He leaned forward to tease her clit with the tip of his nose, breathing in her scent. "I can't wait to taste that honey I see dripping down for me, Stephanie."_

_Another moan was the only response she could produce and, because she was desperate to feel any part of him dipping into her honeyed center, she caressed her hands up her abdomen to her breasts to tease and tug on her peaked nipples. She gave a yell when his big mouth closed over her lips in a deliberate, leisurely kiss. He nipped at them, as if he was kissing her mouth, caressing his smooth, soft lips over her smooth wet, swollen flesh._

_A chorus of moans and groans fell from her mouth as he continued his torture, refusing to dip into her slit, though he occasionally nipped at her swollen clit peeking through. Her anticipation built until, with one more pass of his lips against hers, she exploded, drenching her inner thighs and his mouth. Still, he didn't reach in between for a taste, but he pulled back and blew soft, cool air onto her overheated skin, sending delicious chills through her as her juices cooled._

_He pulled his head back and looked up at her, licking his lips, eyes sparkling dangerously with arousal. "Mmm, now that is quality honey, Stephanie. Quality." She was so far gone that, when she opened her mouth, not a sound came out, not even a moan. She stared into his eyes, hers cloudy with desire; his raging with need. "Now, slide your legs around and sit up here on my shoulders."_

_Her body was trembling from its release, but when Pierre lifted her, by her waist this time, it was easier for her to draw her legs up and hook them over the tops of his shoulders. With his arms beneath her now, he slid his hands down to span across her shapely ass and lifted her with measured precision. Centimeter by centimeter, he pulled her up to his mouth until he was again kissing her in the same frustrating manner._

_This time, she was more demanding, pressing against his mouth, begging to be touched inside. When he finally complied, she gave a vociferous cry and moved her hips in time to the tongue he was now surging inside her. He continued to kiss her, using his tongue, dipping it between her lips and caressing the spasming folds within, tasting and drinking her in. He rumbled his deep voice against her sensitive clit sending sparks shooting through her body and she fell over the edge again, crying out in ecstasy and riding against his face wildly as her hands groped his shiny, bald head._

_As her orgasm subsided, she felt another ready to let loose and begged, "Please, Pierre, I need more!"_

_With a chuckle, he released her, licking her juices from his lips and sliding her backwards down his arms until her knees locked with his elbows and her arms rested around his neck, her ass dipping down so that her pussy was pressed to his naval. She felt his hard cock straining up between their bodies against her hot, wet core and used her legs to massage herself against him. He groaned and wrapped his arms over top of her thighs to hold her steady as he raised her up to position himself and then let her weight come down onto him._

"_You ready for me, Stephanie?" He tested her entrance with the head of his cock and smiled when her eyes went wide with surprise and pleasure. He pushed in a little and then lifted her off to tease her clit. S_SSSSSS_he moaned and bucked her hips against him, silently asking for more. He lowered her onto his hard shaft again, this time letting her fall all the way down until he was buried to the hilt within the slick confines of her body. Stephanie arched her back and froze, reveling in the feel of how full she was of him, her mind reeling with all the wonderful sensations he would bring her._

_He took a few moments to let her adjust and to study her beautiful face, tilted backwards in pleasure. He bent his head down and flicked a nipple with his tongue and was rewarded by the clenching of her tight muscles around him. He sucked her breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue around her nipple and drawing deep of her sweetness. His tongue continued to massage her nipple as he drew his mouth from her breast and then he started to nip and bite at the soft globes._

_Her hips began to move against him in an impatient, demanding motion. He took that as his cue and raised her up until his tip was poised at her entrance again and then dropped her back down, filling her with a quick, hard thrust. He felt her tight walls accept his size and began to stroke her in earnest, using his arms to move her on and off his cock, bringing them both incredible waves of pleasure. The moment she shattered around him, her walls squeezed and massaged him with such pressure that he felt himself losing control. He let go of her thighs and brought his hands around and dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her hips. _

"_Hold on tight because I can't wait any longer to make you mine," Pierre growled and began to plunder her ruthlessly with his cock until, with a final thrust, they both climaxed together; her shrieking in pure bliss and him uttering a guttural yell as his cum shot out of him, deep within her._

_When he could finally move again, he released her legs letting them slide down his body, holding her still impaled on his monstrous cock as if it were a ledge she were balanced on. He held her limp body pressed against his and her legs trembled, swelling his ego with primal pride. This woman would never forget the way he had stretched and claimed her with the thickest shaft she'd ever witnessed._

_He pulled out of her then and laid her on the floor gently, all the while running his hands over her body and revving her up again. Her moans told him she wanted more and he felt the fire shoot from his sack to his tip, itching to claim her and mark his territory once again._

_With a roar of lust and need, he flipped her over, forcing her to her hands and knees. He reached around and gripped her chin with his hand, tilting her head back as far as it would go, and holding it steady. While pressing his large, thick hand down onto her lower back, creating pressure for her to push against, he settled his knees between hers and surged into her with unforgiving force, causing her to shout out in pain and ecstasy simultaneously. _

_He reveled in the sight of his huge, thick brown cock plunging into her lily white flesh, the stark differences in skin tone giving him a head rush with the desire that pumped through his veins. Her sexy ass was smooth and firm against his pelvis and he flexed his muscles, causing his cock to press up against the back walls of her channel. He took a quick moment to lift her hips higher to sharpen the angle and then resumed his previous position, holding her captive as he pulled out slowly, rubbing his thickness against the sensitive flesh, feeling her clenching walls squeeze and massage every inch of him. _

_When he pressed back into her with agonizing tenderness, he said, "Tell me, Stephanie. Tell me that you'll never feel another cock that will stretch and satisfy you like mine." His deep bass voice growled low and strong, ricocheting off the walls in the large room._

_"Never!" She moaned out in a labored tone._

_"My cock is going to enjoy this, more than you will ever know." When he said the words, he felt a gush of fluid surge around him, as if her hot little pussy were licking him, wetting him to give him more pleasure. "That's right, that's right. You just give Pierre all of that honey and more, Little Vixen."_

_"Oh my God!" She screamed as he pressed down on her lower back and pulled on her chin again, stretching her to the limit as he slid the fat shaft back home, the tip kissing her cervix, stroking it in a lover's caress. A high-pitched sound of unadulterated delight whispered from her throat when he pulled back out._

_"Mmm, Baby. I wish you could see this. Your dripping, red flesh all hot for me, quaking, calling to my cock. You feel that? Feel that pussy screaming for my hot cock?" He traced circles around her entrance with the tip, causing her flesh to jump and dance for him. He watched as her lips twitched and groped, waiting for him to take her again. "You want more of that?"_

_"God, yes!" She gulped and he could feel her throat flexing against the firm hand that held it in place._

_"You want it slow or you want it fast?"_

_"Fast! I want it hard and fast!"_

_Immediately, he let go of her and her head went down to the carpet, all of her strength gone. His savage smile reared itself into full bloom before he slid his hands beneath her hips to lift her off the floor as he straightened his body fully. "Better grab onto that carpet, Baby, you ain't never had it like this."_

_He spread her legs and raised them up to rest over top of his arms and fanned his hands over her hips. She clamped her calves around his biceps and gripped him tightly as he rammed inside her. Her moans drove him wild and he pounded into her fast and hard, pistoning in and out so fast he wasn't sure if they were two people anymore. Surely they had fused into one being from the sheer heat they produced in this one act._

_Her loud screams grew in intensity with each orgasm he pulled out of her until, at last, he reached his limit and his stone hard cock exploded inside of her, ripping an unrestrained roar from deep inside him. They both trembled and gasped as they recovered and then he laughed, gathering her up to him, back to front, and buried his face in her curls. "That's just what I needed, Little Vixen. Your pussy belongs to Pierre now, Baby."_

*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*RS*

Tank's last words were cut off when Ranger smashed the little black box into a thousand pieces on to of the conference table. He glared at Hal and Lester who were pinching each other to keep from laughing.

"Gentlemen," Ranger stood, closed his folder, and put it in his briefcase. "Our meeting is adjourned," he said as he ran for the door.

"Man, I've got to see how this little adventure ends!" Lester hollered as he and Hal followed Ranger out of the building and into the SUV.

Sixty minutes and two police escorts later, Ranger bounced the SUV into the parking lot at the apartment building and slammed on the brakes. The parking lot was packed with emergency vehicles. He jammed the truck into park, jumped out, and raced for the second floor.

"We probably should have taken his gun away from him," Hal said, climbing out of the SUV.

"What, and spoil the ending?" Lester smacked him on the back and took off in the same direction Ranger had gone with a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

Cal was attempting to open the door to Stephanie's old apartment with a crowbar when Ranger appeared. "What the fuck is going on here?" Ranger asked, his words forced through clenched teeth.

"Electrical circuits in this old place just melted down. We couldn't get in to do our part of the demonstration." Bobby answered. "Speaking of which, why are you here?"

Ranger glared at Bobby without saying a word.

"Excuse us," a voice came from behind them. "We need to get by."

Both men turned to see an EMT directing a gurney carrying an old man out of the apartment next door. "What happened to him?" Bobby asked.

"Stupid old coot's a retired dentist. He had three ancient canisters of laughing gas improperly stored in his bedroom that burst due to the heat." The EMT nodded his head at Stephanie's door. "Is someone inside?"

"Yes," Ranger answered and Bobby shot him a surprised look.

"Well, we'll stick around because the gas leaked out into the ventilation system. We've had three other occupants affected by it."

The ear-splitting sound of metal giving way filled the hallway. Ranger forced his way around Cal and into the apartment.

Stephanie was curled up on her side, sleeping in a large puddle of what looked like mud, but from the sweet smell in the air, Ranger was guessing it was chocolate. Tank was sitting against the wall; his head drooped over to one side and snoring. Ranger walked over and gave him a sharp nudge with the toe of his boot.

"Not now, Little Vixen!" Tank exclaimed and then lifted his head. "Give me a minute to wake up, will ya?" Tank opened his eyes and looked around. When his blurry eyes settled on Ranger he smiled and started to laugh. "Hey, guys. Nice of you to join us."

"Explain." Ranger spat the word out. His nostrils flared in agitation.

"Well, the Bomber and I had a little art appreciation party and man, I've got to tell you, she looked fine and tasted even better." Tank grinned and smacked his lips.

Lester and Hal rushed to grab Ranger's arm when he reached for his gun.

Tank turned to look at Stephanie and the mess of melted chocolate. "Sorry there's nothing left of the party, but I did save these for you." He held up the pair of red plastic lips to Ranger.

"Mats at 05:00 tomorrow!" Ranger barked and went to check on Stephanie.

"You'd better make that the day after tomorrow. I have a feeling I'm going to need a day to recuperate after Lula gets finished with me." Tank started laughing and Bobby motioned for the EMT to start doing his thing with Tank.

"Looks like we have a new member to join our club." Lester grinned and threw his arm over Hal's shoulders. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

Ranger scooped Stephanie up in his arms and gave her a soft kiss on her chocolate covered lips. She smiled and snuggled in close against his chest. "And he's right, you do taste good, but you have a lot of explaining to do."


End file.
